20 July, 2017

you don't know shit!

saturday morning at the local farmers' market. i immediately head to the welcome booth because 1. it is welcoming and 2. they serve free boozes (yes starting at 9, don't judge).

that day's booze was a hibiscus ice tea lemonade martini. it was delightful. as S, the lovely lady who co-runs the market, explained, it was a sort of boozy arnold palmer. we got to talking and one thing led to another and i ended up asking "who is arnold palmer?" just as a small texan woman walked up for her free drink.

when she heard those blasphemous words leave my mouth, she turned to me and scoffed, "you don't know who arnold palmer is???" there was little humour in her voice. this wasn't a joke. she was offended. S turned to the texan and laughingly explained that i was canadian. we had a chuckle about my cultural ignorance, and then, just to play up the whole canadian thing, i turned to small texan and said, "i apologize for not knowing who arnold palmer is," expecting her to respond lightheartedly. nope.

she finished her drink, tossed the cup into the bin, and said, "you've probably never heard of god, either!" and left. it took me a good several seconds to realise i'd just gotten dissed, not because i'm slow but because i tend to be wildly optimistic when it comes to my interactions with people IRL (less so online, for obvious reasons).

S and her boyfriend were just as shocked as i was. it was a triple whammy, sorta:
1. texans, even ignorant ones, tend to be friendly. this woman was NOT friendly.
2. did she see arnold palmer as god?
3. did she think canadians were all godless?
4. WTF?

i felt like shit for a full 5 minutes until i chatted with several other folk who were so wonderful that the nasty feeling in my tummy dissipated and i was back to loving humanity all over again!

17 July, 2017

right or wrong

got my toes done today (including the removal of roughly seven kilograms of the dead skin that i seem to grow like it's some sort of staple food crop). woman sitting next to me had that well off (or at least privileged) texan vibe to her. we got talking about our colour choices (i liked hers better; she liked mine better), then farmers' markets, the taste of real food etc. eventually i mentioned being polish. our paraphrased conversation follows.

lady: aah! how're things in poland?

moi: not great lately. the most recently elected government is all kinds of messed up.

lady: it's communist, right?

moi: (reorganizing my brain to speak to someone who has no fucking clue about what is going on in the world)... um... no. it hasn't been since the 90's.

lady: oh. so what's going on?

moi: well, the government is basically stripping down democracy, messing up the judiciary, suppressing any kind of dissent. it's terrifying.

lady: so it's some kind of socialist government?

moi:(following a huge silent internal scream because WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???) no. they're extremely right wing, religious, and spreading hatred towards pretty much everyone who doesn't think like they do. there are skinheads marching in the streets. it's awful. so much hate.

lady: well, there's a lot of hate around lately everywhere, isn't there?

moi: yeah.

because we all know that hatred only comes from left leaning pinko commie snowflake cucks while the right wingers hover over the earth held aloft by angel wings and the love of the lord.

you know what, lady? you seemed nice and all, but FUCK YOU AND YOUR ILK. you likely voted for the orange shitgibbon and i have no time to give to the likes of you.