12 April, 2017

fashion tips for the apocalypse

so here's my looting shopping list for the apocalypse. tell me if i missed something and why you think that.

1. antibiotics. broad-spectrum, narrow-spectrum, ointments, pills, whatever i can get my hands on.
2. bandages
3. duct tape (works best for blisters. ain't nobody wanna die of blisters in the apocalypse!)
4. comfortable boots. steel toed and heavy duty leather if possible.
5. toothbrushes and toothpaste and floss (ain't nobody wanna die of sepsis from a dental infection gone bad in the apocalypse!)
6. light down-filled jacket
7. good warm hat
8. sunglasses, several pairs - i can't live without sunglasses: my eyeballs are sensitive and hurt and no, i'm not trying to be cool, i'm just trying to be comfortable.
9. tarp
10. down sleeping bag
11. water purification tablets
12. water bottle (large, insulated)
13. chocolate and nuts (fast source of energy and protein, that's why!)

ok, i'm running out of steam. anyone wanna add to this list, please do so in the comments which have been so sparse lately i'm thinking nobody loves me anymore* except for a couple voices (and you know who you are). the apocalypse is coming - what do YOU want to pack*?

*pack yer bags! we're going on a guilt trip!


Crusty Juggler said...

Tampons or other form of protection from The Bloodening?

Crusty Juggler said...

Also, will this particular apocalypse be cold? I ask because of the coats, boots, and warm sleeping bags.

Cthulku said...

Hmmm, lots to choose from. Gonna assume relatively temperate climes, that I have appropriate clothes, and that some sort of flora & fauna still exist. Also assuming open-ended, rather than bug-out-bag styles. Finally: assuming that there is no hidey hole to go to, that we've gotta live off the land, but have ready food for a few days to get set up.

- Crossbow & sturdy, heavy bolts
- Water filter (one that can be backflushed/has maintainable membranes)
- Utility knife & sharpening stone
- A big spoon for stirring, a little spoon for eating, and a little shovel for digging
- Chain saw (not a chainsaw)
- Sturdy bags
- A good pot
- Flint, and matches if there's space
- Rope; nothing too heavy, but a good, long length of it. Making rope is a huge pain.
- A mending kit. Gonna be naked eventually without one.
- Hand-crank radio, something with analog tuning. Might still be some civilization around somewhere.

That's all I've got off the top of my head. If berries and game can be found, pemmican is the best for compact calories & balanced nutrition. If we have a little cart or something for carrying more weight, I'd probably add flour, sugar, and oil.

Crusty Juggler said...

I have to bring attention to the fact that many of these things are not strictly "fashion." Regardless, let's apocalypse!

polish chick said...

going backwards:
1. you should know by now that my titles have, at best, tenuous links to the text body
2. good call on the knives. and you know mr. monkey would be all over those spoons. i think we have to assume either really solid backpacks or some sort of wagon with good solid wheels. i think mr. monkey could rig one up for us. but you'll have to share those spoons!
3.boots are for comfort and safety from snakes etc. even warm days can lead to cold nights and a down jacket can be a good comfy pillow too.
4. that's where the rubber lady cups come in handy (if you can use them) bc you're only carrying one thing.

see? we need to do this together!

Sabine said...

Sunscreen. Insect repellent and/or light weight sleeping bag (sheet) against bed bugs. One large cotton scarf to hide inder or wrap around or as general comfort item. Charger for gadgets. Gifts for the locals. Open mind for your soul.

Zhoen said...

A solid, comfortable backpack. Flint and Steel. Sharp knife & sharpener. Solid leather boots, wool socks, carhart cargo pants, shirt, jacket. Shewee funnel. Book on survival skills, best available, wax pencils. This water purifier filter. http://newatlas.com/wood-cellulose-water-filters/48491/

Cotton and wool scarves. Steel water container and drinking cup. Sewing needles and thread.

One cyanide pill.

One towel.

Zhoen said...

Flexible solar panels, ham radio, immersion heater.

Geneviève Goggin said...

Wow...I'm joining this crew. And adding to the mix the following items:
-pain killers
-fishing line and hooks
-salt and pepper (it'll make anything taste edible)
-rain gear (especially if this takes place in Vancouver)
-War and Peace (long enough to last an entire apocalypse)
-one mini hippo

polish chick said...

ah! sabine - i can't believe i forgot The Scarf. to me it's what The Towel (as mentioned by zhoen) was to douglas adams. i had the perfect one that i took everywhere including camping. people looked at me funny like it was a fashion thing but it was not: it protected me from the sun, the cold, the wind; it was a sarong, a towel, a bandage, and, let's not lie, a super cute shawl. i agree with bug spray. i think charger would be ineffective since my apocalypse assumes no electricity.

zhoen - good idea with the survival book. and ditto on the cyanide pill - you never know how things are gonna play out!

g - yes on the salt. fishing line and hooks - yes! i guess my tarp was gonna do double duty as shelter and rain gear.
war and peace is not actually that long of a read if you skip all the chapters dealing with military maneuvers - i've done it. it's easy to do and it doesn't affect the plot one bit.

now you've got me thinking about what book i'd bring (other than the survival guide) and i'm stumped.

Crusty Juggler said...

I can't afford the apocalypse. This list, with excellent suggestions from all, is getting very expensive. Unless looting is in order. Otherwise, one cyanide pill will have to suffice. And a scarf.

Cthulku said...

It's the apocalypse, looting is assured!

polish chick said...

well, hell! i ain't payin' for any of that!

polish chick said...

also, i totally messed up here - g! can we bring a whole herd of baby hippos? they're the only thing keeping me sane in today's political climate.

Cthulku said...

Plus they roast up real nice!

polish chick said...

that's it. you're OFF the team!