it seems that each day that we've been back from poland, another dainty news item has thrown me for a loop: with the recent killing of alton sterling, i felt a shift, a crack. i got (and remain) so fucking mad at america that i've started looking for work back home. and before you tell me canada isn't perfect - believe me, i know, but we don't shoot unarmed black people every fucking day of the goddamn week.
so i did what one does these days: i wrote a post on fb (only to be told in no uncertain terms by mr. monkey that i need to keep my politics to myself), i've tweeted, i've read, i've talked, internally howling all the while, and i wonder how this will end. it seems like there are cracks all over the world, a great big instability leaving us teetering on the very edge of an abyss: the glorious experiment of the EU might be breaking up; politics seem to be swinging back towards the unmitigated angry tribalism of yestermillenia; the institutionalised racism in the US comes out on almost daily blatant display such that i wonder why there hasn't been a race war yet. then there are the floods; the fires; the constant screaming anger of so many people (myself included). surely this can't last!
our society feels like a great big intricate vase, useless and dusty but somehow still valuable, held together with wishful thinking and dried up old crazy glue, standing too close to the edge of the shelf and i, for one, want someone to nudge it over. i think that maybe we are due for something, though i don't quite know what it is, and i fear that when it hits, it'll be a hell of a crash.
i suppose many people have felt this over the ages. surely, this is nothing new, nor particularly original, as far as our history goes. what lends it such a feeling of immediacy is that now information is thrown at us faster than we can process it, gobs and gobs of ugliness striking us again and again until we think we will never be able to breathe normally.