28 May, 2016

(un) sociable

mr. monkey came home from his week in chicago and instead of going out to a bbq in the neighbourhood (where our 5 guests-to-be were partying) we ended up drinking bourbony drinks and (he) taking apart the bbq and cleaning it and (me) watching bad television*. the volvobeaste threw a hissy fit and refused to start in the torrential downpour which provided a bit of an excuse for not going out. our understanding was that the group would come over after and sleep here, and so i set up mattresses and sofa beds etc. and left the lights on. alas, they did not show up and this morning i saw a 2am text telling me they were continuing to party and were thus taking uber to houston instead of coming here.

i'm conflicted about this. i know i am not considered a "fun" person because my natural rhythms dictate that i go to bed early and get up early and that's seen as "old" and "boring" and a whole host of adjectives i'd resent if i chose to care. i know it's got nothing to do with age because this has been me since...always. alas, this group likes to party hard and takes a certain grim pride in going to bed at all hours of the morning. this, i think, is part of my worry about the visit: having to explain to a hardy-partier that you really truly would rather go to bed than stay up and have "fun" is really difficult to do. they tend to refuse to believe you and insist that if you just stay up and go out and go dancing (or whatever) with them, you will start to have fun. having gone to several concerts in bars in chicago and having waited to see the headliner start at 1am (!!!) i can honestly say that the only thing that happens is a growing sense of resentment and exhaustion. i am not judging their choices, far be it, but i just don't want to be part of it.

still, i feel bad about this, because mr. monkey wants to see his people and i am starting to feel like an asshole because i sort of sabotaged last night's festivities and then they failed to show up. so now i think i will suck it up and get in on the "fun," whatever it might be, or else let mr. monkey go off with them. i really do wish (sometimes) that i was more of a party person, but the siren song of my own bed is irresistible. however, mr. monkey is sad this morning and i can't have that, now can i? his social life is 98% dependent on mine, so i really should support this 2%, or just get out of the way. so wish me luck, eh?

*i'm watching this show, and its main character is utterly charmless** and fulfills all the holywood stereotypes of "strong womanhood" (i.e. bitchy and angry all the time, pouty, refuses to listen etc.), and the writing is increasingly erratic and illogical, and it's making less and less sense, but a. i love most of the supporting cast, and b. it's nearly over and now i just need to see it through to the end. there's a sense of desperation in my watching - i want to kill it dead. there's no joy or anticipation other than the anticipation of it finally being over. what a strange beast man (or in this case woman) is, but alas, this is how it is.

**reminds me of what my english teachers used to tell me about good writing: "show, don't tell" and in the case of this series, the writers are doing it wrong every step of the way. we are told again and again about the heroine's charm, beauty, kindness, attractiveness, magnetic personality, and we really do need to be reminded because all we are shown is her whinyness, her anger, her inability to stop and think before rushing into idiotic situations, and her utter lack of charisma.


Cthulku said...

Having done the party all night thing for years, I can say that for me the fun was had in spite of the hour, not because of it. Once I hit 23, the fun:exhaustion ratio was low enough for it to no longer be worth it; once I started working in a profession it dwindled to zero. I get your desire to support Mr's social circle, but the fact that they didn't come back after partying is on them, not you. Respect needs to go both ways. There's nothing wrong with being an early riser.

Maybe there's a way to hang out in the early evening while they're in the area, and then if Mr and the crew wants to go partying afterwards, then they can? You've been working hard to get the big suburban home, into which you've just moved, ready to host guests; frankly, their snub is more than a little rude.

Geneviève Goggin said...

Do I ever empathize. Good luck with your sacrifice.

Zhoen said...


All I'm sayin'.

polish chick said...

thanks all.
thing is, zhoen, i'm 50/50 intro/extro which complicates matters. but yes, any gathering larger than 6 people makes me profoundly uncomfortable and the late night thing just cranks up my intro waaay up!

Zhoen said...

I was speaking only for myself, but I thought you would at least get some of those.

polish chick said...

no, zhoen, you made me rethink my idea of what 50/50 means. blog post coming to that effect in the near future. SO many of those were totally relatable!!!