26 December, 2015

reason #483 why i am not a mother

i gave my oldest two kids a sort of velcro-based dartboard type toy for christmas. you toss these vaguely sperm-like balls at a spiderweb and because it's velcro instead of darts, nobody gets hurt...much.

my oldest nephew immediately fell in love with it and started tossing the balls in a manner that three year olds accomplish such feats: badly.

this is the conversation i had with my sister (and myself):

sister-in-law: this is perfect! he loves throwing!
moi (in my head): he's not very good at it.
moi (still in my head): granted, he is three....
moi (thankfully still in my head): but he really sucks.


Tom said...

Whilst trying to spare your blushes (and mine) there may be more fundamental reasons why you're not a mother. :)

Zhoen said...


polish chick said...

tom - i do have the necessary equipment. just decided not to use it.

zhoen - oh my god, YES! this also reminds me of my plans to write "the childless asshole's guide to parenting" which would immediately become an international best seller.

Zhoen said...

Oh, I'd love to contribute. May I title my chapter "Duck Tape - the answer" ?

polish chick said...

absolutely. you're in.

Zhoen said...

Some people are way ahead of us, with an app no less.