05 November, 2015

wrong word

there are words out there that have clearly missed the mark:

"crampon" for instance, is immediately recognizable as the linguistic offspring of cramps and tampon and, rather than helping you climb mountains, looks like something that would much prefer you to lie  quietly on the couch with a hot water bottle and a nice cup of tea instead.

"mentor" is sneaky - it hides one of its unpleasant prefixes ("de-" or "tor-") and stands casually in front of a nondescript white van, offering to help. all i'm gonna say is, DON'T DO IT! DON'T GET IN! it'll end very very badly.

"gastrique," seen recently in food blogs and finer restaurants, is meant to tempt your taste buds. unfortunately, instead of caramelised-sugar-based sweet and sour sauce, it clearly evokes the stuff you bring up once you've emptied your stomach contents but the heaves won't stop.


8 comments:

Crusty Juggler said...

Well done! And so true. Gastrique, in particular, puts me off all food when I see it on a menu. Gastric acid, digestive juices? Delish. I would happily read a dictionary full of explanations such as these. I say keep them coming!

Zhoen said...

MEN-TOR! Gigantic, metallic super villan, crushes all before his immense masculinity!

Lucy said...

Really, gastrique, they don't do they? That's completely stupid, it can only mean the nasty, or at least more practical, side of food consumption. I thought French was supposed to be an official language in Canada. Mind you even 'gastro-pub' sounds dodgy to me; even though 'gastronomique/gastronomic' is a proper word in both languages, if one has been ill with 'quelque chose de gastro' it generally implies the condition you describe so vividly, and even in English it's reminiscent of gastroenteritis. Or just gas.

Zhoen said...

Gastropods are cringing.

Lucy said...

Oh that's lovely Zhoen; I want to be a cartoonist and draw some slugs and snails fine dining on reconstructed leaf litter velouté with cabbage jus and a hosta foam - gastropods in a gastro-pub!

polish chick said...

tee hee. i like you guys!

Zhoen said...

Lucy,
You have outdone me. (bow)

pc,
We are small, but we are mighty.

Young at Heart said...

Hilarious!!