24 November, 2015

leftie loosie, rightie tightie

our financial advisor (and yes, i do throw up a little in my mouth when i write that, thanks for asking!) doesn't get it. he talks to us as though we are firmly on his side politically, which couldn't be farther from the truth. he's a young guy, but he actually ran for the provincial wildrose party in the last election, a party that is the albertan version of the american tea party, and just as willing to stick its racist, homophobic, uber-conservative foot in its mouth. i had to put on my best polite laura bush smile when he proudly informed us of this:

thing is, he must assume that because of our financial situation we're as right-wing as he is, and because both alberta and canada recently voted overwhelmingly* in favour of returning to our traditional leftist tendencies, he insists on making idiotic negative comments about the new government, thus forcing me to continue to:

i have made subtle comments. i have made less subtle comments. today, when i left his office, i went so far as to mention the high quality of alberta's solar power that has been sadly underutilised but that offers a viable alternative to the oil sands. if that doesn't convince him of my leftie pinko hippie commie tendencies, then nothing will. if, however, that doesn't work, i'm not worried. by now, i'm really, really good at this:

and let's be honest: it's likely to do me good when politics comes up in texas!

*well, as overwhelmingly as our stupid political system allows where 33% translates to a majority, but i shan't bore you.


Zhoen said...

"Sir. Please keep your political attitudes to yourself. I'm a socialist, a liberal, and am tired of being baited."

Or, even more simply, "you are fired."

Or, "You know, I think conservative nutjobs should be blown up. What do you think?"

Or.... well, I could go on all day, getting sillier as I go.

polish chick said...

actually, i doubt he has enough imagination to bait me. i think he really thinks that we MUST think as he does. but the nutjob bit is highly useful! i may use it elsewhere.

Zhoen said...

Happy to provide a bit of silly.

polish chick said...

he was also absolutely shocked when i told him that when mr. monkey and i travel to mexico we eat on the street. he found the idea very very difficult to understand, what with his six star resorts (yes, he actually said that, with a strong emphasis on the SIX in case i missed it, which made me work extra hard not to let my laura bush smile slip because i just wanted to laugh, "six whole stars? you don't say! you MUST be special!")

the fact that he has had experienced gastric problems while staying in the aforementioned SIX star resorts, while we eat on the street and feel just fine seemed irrelevant. "don't cloud the issue with facts, ma'am."

Lucy said...

Sorry, I just enjoyed giggling like a three year old every time Laura popped up as I scrolled down.

Joan said...

I can't wait to see Laura in Texas!