27 November, 2015

bring on the plague of locusts!

i may (or may not) have mentioned that for the past innumerable months mr. monkey's been hanging out at the junk yard, taking apart broken volvobeastes, taking out their useful bits, and putting these volvobeaste bits into our own forever-ailing volvobeaste. my own wee toyota is the overachieving child in this family - so routinely coming home with gold stars and straight A's that we pay only enough attention to it to make sure it's fed (gas), watered (oil change) and shod in seasonally appropriate attire (winter tires). the volvobeaste, on the other hand, despite our high expectations due to its impressive swedish pedigree is so far knocking up girls, doing drugs, beating up kids, bullying little old ladies, and talking back. of course, that is the car that gets all of mr. monkey's love and attention. after many many weekends spent under the hood, he finally fixed the thingamajiggledy whatsitator that caused the car to not run since the summer. he was so proud. i was so proud of him! not everybody can singlehandedly fix a thingamajiggledy whatsitator! it takes both skill and patience, both of which mr. monkey has in spades. so that was good! i got my wee car back, and mr. monkey got to drive his beloved volvobeaste again.

monday morning the car stalled somewhere en route to work and he had it towed to my cousin's place where he left it until he could figure shit out. he was cranky but thought he could, once again, fix this latest volvobeaste mess. he bought a gallon of doomaflickey anti-enbubblification fluid, poured it into the appropriate doomaflickey anti-enbubblification fluid orifice, and lo and behold! the volvobeaste roared to life again. i walked over to my cousin's today to pick it up. it started, it drove, then it got a little wobbly though i blamed my own lack of experience driving it, and then, pretty much in the middle of a busy intersection, it gave up the ghost. again.

between this, mr. monkey's reluctance to pay a mechanic to fix it in a nice tight amount of time*, the fact that the crown came off my implant last night and i needed to get to the dentist ASAP, the upcoming trip to poland, and the logistics of the move to the US, i think i'm going to make myself a cup of hot cocoa, wrap myself in a blanket, and watch a show. i officially give up.


*more of a point of pride and ambition than finances, i'm sure.

6 comments:

Zhoen said...

When it's sour and yeller, it's a lemon.

Sorry about the crown, greatly sucks.

Love all your technobabble.

Tom said...

Well a girl can take just so much....or so I understand. Having said that, I am greatly in awe of anyone who can fix a thingamajiggledy whatsitator!

Joan said...

Even great foreign countries can make "Monday morning" cars! A certain Outback that constantly misbehaved comes to mind.

Geneviève Goggin said...

Is the show good?

polish chick said...

the show is lovely escapism. but it's my stand in for miss fisher's murder mysteries which you MUST watch!

Geneviève Goggin said...

I just saw miss Fisher on Netflix and thought it looked right up my alley. I only have one shoe on the go right now and one hour a week of TV just isn't satisfying. I'll check it out.