26 March, 2014

the tale of feral belly and the mountain lost and the mountain gained

while i'm waiting for my gigantic document to load, i figured i might as well get you up to snuff with my goings on…well, some of my goings on. no time for all. nor the inclination. nor, to be perfectly honest, the interest. you're welcome.

the most exciting news happened weeks ago (months? years? who can tell?!?!) but i forgot to mention, but should, because it's a sort of part B to a part A that i bitched blogged about a wee while ago. so - in the face of increasing/continuing/fluctuating/ongoing stress, my stomach has gone rogue again. essentially it returned to the feral state in which i found it all these years ago, wondering the woods, growling uncontrollably, fangs bared, twigs and dirt in its hair,*fiery anger in its little beady eyes, ready to pounce on anything and anyone.

despite what you may think you know about me, i tend to stay calm…ish in the face of (some? most? occasional?) adversity, but the price of that is the stress goes to my feral stomach. so yeah, lately, it's been pretty damn bad. finally got diagnosed with IBS, which is really no diagnosis at all, but a half-hearted shrug that means "listen, lady, you ain't got this, you ain't go that, and you most certainly ain't got that, so what you does got is IBS, unless we can come up with some better acronym or give you a test that actually shows something." fine with me. explains a lot. like years and years a lot.

so, short story looooong, as is my wont, to tell you that i have not been happy in the middle regions and the thought of heading to the dubious plumbing facilities of nepal was not helping. then again, facing my dad and telling him i would be bailing on his most precious and beloved dream was kinda unfun too. but eventually something's gotta give and i called the man…

…who was kind, understanding, supportive and absolutely fine with me not going. he even added that yeah, the place might not be the best vacation spot for a feral belly. WHAT. THE. WHAT?!?! he said he didn't want me to go to please him if it was going to mean i would be unhappy. ok, who is this man?
at any rate, i breathed a sigh of relief and promised to join my parents in utah in october for a marathon.**  this sounded fabulous, as i love the desert and my parents have always been raving about the many stunning national parks of utah.

two days (one day? three days? who can tell?!?!?) i get an email from my dad informing me of another marathon in utah. in may! i.e. during the very time of the proposed nepal expedition! he was bailing on his dream so that we could spend family time together, hiking the red rocks as a family unit!

and so, darling poultries, one irritant is removed, and i can now rest easy knowing that my feral belly and i will actually have the vacation we are looking forward to after school is over: two weeks in poland (with a long overdue jaunt to prague and maybe to berlin or warsaw or whatever, cause IT'S MY DAMN TRIP AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, BITCHES!!!) and then two weeks in a spot strategically located to be close to all the gorgeous bits of utah! then, if they ever call me the hell back, a job? please little baby jebus, a job…well, THE job (more on that later).

now to get this school thing over and done with.

*stomach hair? ew.
 **because it's always for a marathon. any other reason for travel is deemed frivolous


Zhoen said...

A bezoar?

There is nothing like Red Rock country. Bring sunscreen and camera. Are you going directly, or through "Holy City? "

And have you read the latest Mary Roach book? Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal.

polish chick said...


yeah, i've previously driven through the holy city and liked the countryside, but never really spent any time there. more in nevada, new mexico and california. my parents, however, are desert connoisseurs and to them, utah is the creme de la creme, so i'm looking forward to it.

we're flying through denver - the distance was almost identical and the flights substantially cheaper. still, will likely hit the lake - i'm told it's a stunner.

no, have not even heard of the book. will check it out…maybe? hey! good travel reading, sounds like!

Zhoen said...

THE Lake? The "Great" salty one? A stunner? More like a stinker. Long drives, hard to get to a shore of any sort, and the vast shallows frankly reek. Antelope Island is worth a few hours, before the flies come out.

The drive up Big Cottonwood Canyon is worthwhile, much closer and very much more impressive.

polish chick said...

well, it could possibly be that there's some small hidden park that my parents were talking about, with some weird access to the lake. they have scoured the area thoroughly over the years. i'm no expert.

but i know the focus will be bryce, monument valley, arches and other assorted red-rock-flavoured outings. all i know and care about is that the plumbing will be good, the mexican food more authentic than anything we have up here, the hiking gorgeous and that i'll sleep like a normal person, cause it seems that i can only manage that in the desert.

and also - no dead frozen folk on the hiking paths, which is always a bonus.

Tom said...

Once again, a delightful post, constructed with interesting phraseology and vocabulary. I particularly liked, "so what you does got is......" :)

Now IBS doesn't sound too good to me, and as you may know I have had "experiences" that have necessitated the removal of certain bits of plumbing, well one bit actually. So you certainly have my deepest sympathies.

I rather thought your father came up trumps, so have a thoroughly enjoyable "marathon", even if that word does suggest something overly exertive.

polish chick said...

thank you, tom!
plumbing bits removal sounds terrible and i am truly sorry for your loss.
the marathon in question is one in which only my father will be an active participant (well, unless you count getting up at an ungodly hour and driving him to the start line active participation, which, come to think of it…). mr. monkey, my mom and i will be cheering him on from the sidelines.