it's currently -40ºC with windchill. before i made my peace with winter i would question the wisdom of living in a climate that could literally kill you in minutes. now i just shrug and put another layer on. still, no walkies for me today.
and no runnies, either, if the last 3 weeks are any indication. during my holiday times, i totally and completely let myself go: i ate too much (par for the course of a polish christmas), drank waaaaay too much (mister monkey's newly discovered astonishing mixology skillz will be the bane of my liver), ran maybe 4 times and after my one-on-one yoga instruction completely and utterly failed to do any yoga. and so i am entering the new year with an overworked liver, a few extra pounds, and a terrible attitude of laziness. let's hope the routine of school helps me get over this, cause otherwise, my poultries, i'm in serious trouble.
which brings me to the title of this post - as someone who takes great pride in self-awareness and an approach to life rooted firmly in reality instead of fantasy, i was thrown for a loop in recent months by my inability to grasp the reality of a certain situation. you see, when it comes to people, i am a total optimist: you need to kick me several times, and in strategic places, before i see you are less than awesome. it seems that i have finally arrived at that point - realising that beautiful words do not reality make. when someone tells you how absolutely fabulous you are, and how important in their life, and then completely and utterly fails to back that up with solid action, well, eventually even a starry eyed ijit like yours truly will see the light.
i think spending time with my fabulous people over the holidays clarified things for me as well. granted, i tend to be the one who calls, who arranges, who ensures that contact is maintained, but those of my friends who fail in this regard have a long history with me and a solid base of mutual respect, understanding and love. they also treat me well, can be counted on and are a constant in my life. and so, in the new year i am ready to offer up blessed thanks for my wonderful friends, while also promising to maintain a clear vision of those who would give me a bag of assholes wrapped in sparkly paper, hoping i don't notice.*
tomorrow i head back south to finish my edumacation. i am neither dreading nor looking forward to it, though i am little worried about the upcoming group work (please, please, please, baby jebus, don't put me in a group with the baboons**). as you know, i'll keep you in the loop. onward and upward!
*come to think of it, it's kinda a double whammy, innit? a. giving me a bag of assholes and b. thinking i am so stupid i won't realise what i've been given. i.e. not worth any real trouble AND ALSO dumb. yoiks.
**with apologies to actual baboons.