05 December, 2013

plenary indulgences for a nominal fee

on tuesday morning i had an appointment with my counsellor. my bus being late* i ran in there right on the hour…and then spent 10 minutes waiting for her. she came and got me, apologized for her lateness (a meeting, it's always a meeting, innit?) and took me into her room. i talked, she listened. i went into a rant about the state of our education and the attitudes of some of some of my classmates. being a professor herself, she concurred. i talked about some of my issues. she listened. and then, suddenly, with 20 minutes still left to go, she started to wrap up. about how i was evidently doing better. about how if i needed her i could come in again after the new year. about how she wished me the best of luck and whatnot, and with 15 minutes left to go, i was unceremoniously escorted off the premises.

on the one hand, yay me! i am better! on the other hand, damn it, i'm paying my tuition as much as the next depressed maniac and want my money's worth. on the other other hand (evidently i'm a veritable kali), most of my getting better had little to do with her, and a hell of a lot more to do with myself, this here forum, your support, and that miraculous and inexplicable tendency of my depression to bugger off on its own when it's good and ready. so really, with all these hands waving around, it's kinda hard to have a rational thought. in the end, i chose to take the positive approach - i was so fucking happy she needed to get me out of that office pronto, before i started to frighten the unwell: nobody wants to see a two-legged jerk prancing around in an amputee ward.

come to think of it, though, i should have asked for a certificate of sanity. it never hurts to have these things official.

*the only way calgary transit could suck any more is if they decorated their buses with dead puppies.


Tom said...

The kind of treatment delivered by your counsellor does tend to leave one wondering, "Urh?" I would probably feel a little uncomfortable and annoyed in your position, and it is to your credit that you are taking the optimistic route. And it is true that the healing process is initiated and 'progressed' (that's probably a bit of jargon you'd recognise) by ourselves.

I hope this comment isn't too superficial; you deserve the best I can offer you. Currently we are 'looking after' our sister-in-law (ex cancer sufferer, current heart disease sufferer) whilst Lucy's brother was in hospital (we brought him home this evening) for tests and scans following inexplicable 'passings out' and fallings. Holding the fort so to speak.

Stay well, friend.

polish chick said...

tom, i love your comments, superficial or not, and this one is hardly superficial!
take care of yourself - caretakers often have a hard time of it!
all my best to your whole family.

Zhoen said...

And here I am, thinking I've had enough. Want to let it settle, decide what to do next. Tired of being riled up every other week.

polish chick said...

see, zhoen, that's where it's handy to have depression with ADHD - eventually it gets bored and wanders off looking for other victims.

but yeah, you need to do it at your own pace. sounds like you've already come up with some coping mechanisms.

Crusty Juggler said...

I still think there's something very unprofessional about that counsellor.
But Here's a certificate to provide you with closure: https://www.google.ca/search?q=homer+not+insane&safe=off&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=hNmgUuCLK6mliQLJm4GABg&ved=0CDMQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=625#facrc=_&imgrc=MriarD7ytuwhCM%3A%3BrxfIGBBLeZMP1M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fbarfblog.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2011%252F12%252Fhomer_not_insane.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fbarfblog.com%252Ftags%252Fhomer%252F%3B400%3B294

Also, "dead puppies" Ha! So true, and it's not because of winter weather as it's terrible on even the clearest summer day.

Geneviève Goggin said...

That's a rip off! One wants to maximize one's rant time and councellors are paid to be there. Granted, you couldn't pay me enough to do that job. But still.
And thanks for the visual of the dead puppy bus. Thanks a lot.