05 November, 2013

scope creep

you know that thing i said? the one about it being statistically improbable that so many morons would be allowed into grad school? ha. i stand corrected by circumstances that have turned me into a murderous crazy-eyed (imaginary) hatchet-waving psychopath. because, truly, there are some who should have reconsidered graduate school. some who should have perhaps continued to serve delicious and perfectly mixed drinks at their local corner pub. some who would have been so very good at ensuring that the pair of trousers you try on is the right size. some... well, some i have no idea. there must be jobs for the eternally infuriatingly confused, but i don't have it in me to be a career counsellor for people whose demise i am planning in my head. repeatedly. every. fucking. day.

i told my fabulous roommate tonight that i really really wanted to kill some people.

mfr: did you do it?

moi: i can't tell you.  that would make you accessory after the fact. i don't want you to be an accessory to murder... unless i need help digging the grave.

mfr: i'm not digging any graves! it's november and the ground is frozen.

moi: wood chipper then?

mfr: that's better. we'll go all fargo!

this is why he is fabulous. ever so helpful, that man.


p.s. please know that the majority of my classmates are smart, charming, thoughtful and lovely people. then there are those others.

9 comments:

Geneviève Goggin said...

Wow! He IS very helpful! But I have two questions. Why are murderers always crazy-eyed? And what's the deal with hatchets (imaginary or otherwise)? Then again, perhaps those questions are better left unanswered, seeing as I'm heading to dreamland shortly.

polish chick said...

i don't know if *all* murderers are crazy eyed, but i certainly was. that came of rolling my eyes almost ceaselessly for the past two months' worth of classes. it loosens the eye-strings, you see, and then you go all crazy-eyed and goggly.
and as for the hatchet, it seemed to have the heft and sharp edge that i was craving.

Tom said...

"Murderous, crazy-eyed (imaginary) hatchet-waving psychopath" uh? Well there was a partial eclipse of the sun recently; not sure of the state of the moon, too cloudy and wet of late. No, I don't understand it at all. Usually you're so cool, calm and collected, so unexcitable!!

The point is, did you get any satisfaction from your tutors about your workload? Or are they of the eternally, infuriatingly confused variety?

polish chick said...

are you making fun of me, tom?

satisfaction comes from within, tom. and my workload is fine, it's the lack of clarity within it that's infuriating, and so i am choosing to make my own path. this is turning out to be a deeply philosophical exercise, this grad school thingie.

but overall, things are fine. just shiny.

Zhoen said...

Pity the fools, they are not smart enough to know how dumb they are. And they may one day win a Darwin Award.

polish chick said...

ah, but in the meantime they make me wonder if the fact that we are both in the same class together reflects rather badly on me.

Zhoen said...

They are there to make you look good.

Tom said...

Agnieszka; How could I possibly respond to your comment, without continuing to dig a bigger hole for myself? It's getting rather deep as it is! :)

polish chick said...

and you know what i discovered about holes, tom! however it is that you find yourself in one, it's far harder to get out than in. watch it!

zhoen, i've already been told that once, when a summertime co-worker and highly placed official in my professional-organization-to-be ran into one of the... other ones at a conference. however, even though it makes me look good, it makes the program look bad, and that, in the end, will reflect on all of its graduates.

to make y'all realise how serious this is, we are actually informally formulating strategies to keep the voluble dummies out of sight and hearing when the accreditation committee comes. it's really sad when it comes to that.