my mantra, for the foreseeable future (i.e. until i forget and have to relearn...or is that re-relearn?) is going to be, "what is."
it's easy to think of what was, what could be, should be, will be, might be etc. etc. but i think the essential thing now, and in the days and weeks and years to come, is to make peace with what is. it is, after all, the first step in the 12 step program for Dreamers Anonymous... or would be, if they existed.
i am here; i am me; i can choose to be a better version of myself but i will remain myself nevertheless, no matter how much i howl and beat my fists against the floor (metaphorically speaking; i have outgrown the literal version of the temper tantrum a good few years ago*).
a small crystal glass with a couple fingers' worth of bourbon; good music on the stereo; dinner to be eaten at a restaurant: these are the good things that make life alright. and it is alright. no matter what.
*any examples of making this statement a lie will be ignored in the interest of peace on earth and goodwill between audience and writer. after all, if you saw what i was capable of, you would surely leave and never come back.