i asked my fabulous roommate to show me how to program the coffee making apparatus so that a fresh pot awaits me in the morning. he put in the filter, counted out the scoops, rinsed the pot, and grabbed the pull-out faucet in order to pour water into the machine.
i was watching with bated breath and bated brain, as evidenced by what happened next: while he was still pulling the faucet towards the coffemaker, i suddenly decided to be helpful and turned the water on, spraying him directly in the face and upper body, essentially soaking the poor man.
calmly, because he is a calm man, he asked me, "why'd you do that for?" by then, i was laughing so hard i couldn't answer. again, being a calm man, he took a towel, wiped his face and continued to explain how to set the timer. after a while he looked at me bent over, howling beside the sink and said, "you're not getting any of this, are you?" nope. too busy trying unsuccessfully to apologise... and breathe.
"i can't wait for your turn to make coffee," quoth he. calmly.
when i quieted down sufficiently to be able to pay attention, he calmly continued his demonstration, told me he was glad it was warm water, gave me a (slightly soggy) hug and then bid me a good night and went to bed.
my stomach hurts; my soul feels great.