30 September, 2013

the feeding habits of the ego

i have come to several conclusions lately.

one of them is that a heart break and an ego break are so close as to be virtually indistinguishable, except with expensive and invasive tests that are the equivalent of splitting a horse into its component pieces to see how it's made, and then wondering why it won't go.

my other conclusion is that the ego is a scavenger with very low moral standards. i said so to two people recently: the first ignored the statement, having misunderstood my message; the second told me it was a very chilling and dark metaphor, but true.

most of us don't like to know we have caused others pain, obviously. but the feeding habits of the ego are dark and unsavoury, and sometimes, if we're really honest with ourselves, in the quiet secret places of our hearts, we can admit to a certain pleasure in having the kind of power to hurt someone, the kind of power to break a heart, or wound. we don't always like to see where the ego feeds, it isn't a pretty sight, but feed it does, and not always from the bowl of wholesome kibble we set out for it. pay attention and you will see that on occasion it comes home looking shifty-eyed, with blood on its muzzle. you'd best not look too closely; you might not like what you see.


5 comments:

Tom said...

This post sounds like a very apt description of one aspect of the ego. The fact that you have raised the subject of the ego in this way makes me wonder, with a certain sadness, what is really going on here. Surely, this post does not stand in isolation from previous posts of late.

polish chick said...

what is really going on here is a gigantic mishmash of things.

the ego ideas have come out of conversations with a friend going through a difficult time.

i've been thinking a lot lately about the artificially imposed ideas of duality in our society - body versus soul, ego versus heart, thought versus feeling, etc. and have come to the conclusion that it's not an appropriate reflection of reality.

Tom said...

If you consider that ego consists broadly of thoughts, emotions and body senses, I agree with your thought that the dualities you list are largely an inappropriate reflection of reality. Realities can be experienced on different levels, and that makes them relative, not absolute.

However, one can see dualities as opposite sides of the same coin and that can lead onto interesting discoveries. But I very much doubt whether such speculations and discoveries are really what are being sought here, particularly by your friend.

Maybe the only reason I put forward these thoughts at this time is for the selfish wish to discuss subjects in which I am interested. In the end, perhaps we need to make up our own minds about matters, according to our own values and trust no-one else gets hurt in the process. Hurting others inevitably has its consequences. I wish you and your friend well.

polish chick said...

tom, if you had an email link in your blog, i would surely email you. this has gotten very interesting!

i also agree with your comment about the opposite sides of the same coin, one of the concepts of post modernism that i didn't bristle at (i have a love-hate relationship with post-modernism, which, i suppose, i very appropriate).

Tom said...
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