26 September, 2013

shine yer boots, we's goin' possum huntin'

because it's been getting cold here lately, and because i don't (yet) have the accoutrements for cold weather running (what would those be? mukluks? toque? seal pelt parka? snowshoes? a sled with a team of huskies?), i decided to use the treadmill that has been looming in the basement these last however many months.

it is a simple machine (which means it only took me about three tries to get it operational): there's a rabbit for speed, and a mountain for incline. obvious, really. i start out with 3.5 rabbits and work my way up. the incline is another story. i tried to get it to go up. then i tried to get it to go down. it seemed to not really do much of either, and i finished my walk-run (more and more run! less and less walk!) with a nice sheen of sweat yesterday. today, i thought i'd do it all over again.

5 minutes in, i realised i couldn't do it. not today. the running was beyond me, but i could still manage a very brisk walk* that seemed far more difficult that it should have been. i lowered my rabbits and still it seemed like hard going. thinking that perhaps the mountain was stuck, i tried to increase it in order to unstick it, hoping to then decrease it. well, as i pressed the UP button, the incline came down. and suddenly i had to double my rabbits to keep moving at any sort of pace. the goddamn incline buttons were reversed! my whole run yesterday was an uphill battle (that i won, thus proving the adage that while ignorance might not be bliss, it's way comfier than full knowledge of all pertinent information).

and before you holler that i ought to have looked at the damn treadmill, lemme tell you, that sucker is so tightly wedged in between the bookcase, the couch, a filing cabinet and the elliptical, that getting to it is a bit of a workout in itself.

so, for future reference: more rabbits = faster, up = down. which, you know, is a fitting metaphor for life, if i could only figure out how.

*you ever walk with me? very few people can keep up!


Joan said...

I've been on that treadmill. Don't remember it being backwards at all! I wonder what angle I was walking on vs what I was really walking on?

I've walked with you. It's refreshing to find someone that keeps up with me!

polish chick said...

asked my fabulous roommate and he says the mountain's always been upside down. no wonder you're in such good shape!