29 September, 2013

languishing langoustines leer limpidly

there is nothing to write about, absolutely nothing to report. for anyone even vaguely familiar with my whining bullshit egomaniacal drivel writing, this is no news at all. clearly, having nothing to write about has never stopped me from writing. pages and pages sometimes. whole lyrical episodes. tomes, even! why, an entire e-oeuvre! my sweetest marsupials, my desire to write is so deeply ingrained that i would not ever allow something as minor, as minuscule, as insignificant as the utter lack of topic stop me. all i need is a functioning keyboard, functioning fingers and what passes for a functioning brain these days. and boy, what passes for a functioning brain these days is really starting to frighten me a little. my only hope is that before long i shall lose my marbles so completely that i will not be aware of being totally sans marbles. i have been told that stress makes your memory worse (um, is there anything that stress makes better? other than effective bruxism? or thorough nail biting? or insomnia?) and i am living proof of this... what was i talking about? ahem.

so, to get to the point (a collective sigh of relief was heard from one end of the world to another*), there IS no point. the universe doesn't care. this is nothing to get sad about. a universe that gave two shits about every one of us would be utterly terrifying. i mean, that's one hell of a nosy universe! and if it's busy making sure that a particular team goes to the world cup, and a specific movie wins an oscar, and some kentucky businessman gets that business deal, well, it seems to me that it might be spread just a bit too thin. you know what they say about multitasking? it ain't good for you. it just ain't right. and i, for one, do not want an almighty, endlessly interested but mentally unbalanced universe. personally, give me an impersonal, cold, careless universe. with a universe like that you know exactly where you stand: on quicksand, that's where. everything could collapse at any second. this is not a bad thing. no, this is precisely what you need to focus on if you want to achieve that zen-like state of living in the moment.

and so i bid you adieu, having achieved nothing short of my duty to you, my fellow humans: remember, the universe does. not. care. you should care twice as much to make up for it.

*my stats tell me this is true. i apparently have readers everywhere: predominantly in the united states (hi! y'all are awesome, but your governments frighten the living bejesus out of everyone else in the world), canada (hi! nobody cares much, but we really need to get harper out of office! and also quit visiting the whole world while ignoring some of the most spectacular scenery known to man that's in your own back yard!), indonesia (great food! seriously, fantastic food! keep it up!), russia (putin? really? come ON!) and others, including latvia (yay! latvia! hurray for being the least densely populated country in the EU!). i suspect most of these people drop in by accident** but it boosts my ego, it does.

**some search keywords that recently dropped readers in my lap include: "tits in tulsa" and "tit milk tales" - so sorry for your disappointment, folks! no tits here. well, no, that's not strictly true, but i don't really share them on this here forum. at least not in the way you were likely hoping. and also, "tits" is not a very nice word. we ladies do NOT much care for it.


Fresca said...

I love my blog stats! Like, South Africa, hello! What the heck are you looking for on my blog? Did you find it?

Zhoen said...

The point,

I seem to get a lot of British ex-pats living in Brittany.