06 September, 2013

haruspicy


one of my odder character weaknesses is my propensity to look for signs. it is something i have fought every step of the way, and have come close to eradicating. i am tempted, always, to look for the presence or absence of certain things as a sign of something of import. in my religious younger days i looked to god to provide the signs, and i suspect that it was partly his utter failure to do so that contributed to the demise of our relationship. the signs can be external (“if i see the sun in the next minute, it will mean that…”) or internal (“i have a strong feeling that…”). the former is plain ridiculous, while the latter patently dangerous. after all, feelings change; a shift in weather patterns can bring on the subtle kind of gloom that portends all kinds of evil. 
as a result, i have had to teach myself over and over again that the heart cannot tell the future, but it can certainly tell the present, if only one takes the time to listen.

4 comments:

Tom said...

Of course, this presupposes that 'the heart', or maybe the mind working through the heart, has any awareness of time. Perhaps the mind is equally at home in the past, present and future.

"There are more things in heaven and earth," Polish Chick, "than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Be careful young thing......you never know......!

the polish chick said...

i suppose you are right, tom. then again, i believe i might not have explained myself properly - what i meant was that just because one has a "gut feeling" about something, it doesn't mean such things will come to pass.
on the other hand, i am a strong believer in intuition, and am at a bit of a loss to determine the exact difference between the two. it's a bit of a grey area, i guess.

the polish chick said...

actually, tom, i'm really curious on your take on this. i wrote it sort of on the fly and your comment made me rethink certain aspects of what i said. but if you come back here, i'd be interested in hearing more of what you think on this. and thanks for the "young thing" comment. it's not often i get that any more.

shara said...

I struggle with this constantly and all my life. Was good to hear someone else has the same battle.