today in the kitchen with my fabulous roommate, while making lasagna:
moi: this weekend, i'm gonna make you a salad that's fabulous. when you hear the ingredients, you're all, meh, ok, but when you try it, you're like, make me more, bitch!
moi: ... please don't say that.
my fabulous roommate: no, i wouldn't. you're not the scariest woman in my life but...
moi: ...but i'm up there?
mfr: yes. you command respect.
moi: i wish i was scary. make my life easier.
mfr: it's just as effective. but nicer.