02 April, 2013


you know it's been a less than stellar week emotionally speaking, when several random classmates come up and offer you a hug.

apparently i appear a lot more frazzled and/or stressed out than i feel on the inside.

then again, my interior frazzlement is nicely regulated by little pink pills: essentially i've been phoning in most of my negative emotions for the past several months. however, being a bit of a drama queen (yeah, yeah, i know you've never noticed) i continue to swear up a storm, kick things and threaten undergrads who can't seem to grasp the simple concept of two way doors, while fantasizing about sending those incapable of flushing toilets or washing their hands without spraying demijohns of water all over the counters to the nearest north korean gulag* but other than that, you know, i'm calm...ish.**

*and really, about north korea - i don't know whether i should laugh or cry, but hot damn, their beloved leader's photo ops are simply brilliant - such depth of emotion, such drama, such inspiring poses! why, it's just like a chinese communist opera!

**ok, with the notable exception of my emotional handling of the affair of the one prof who seems to have taken an irrational dislike to me (and by extension my most esteemed partner). that shit gives me anger that eats right through the little pink pills.

(a few minutes later, i told my fabulous roommate about being offered hugs and what people must surely think of my mental health. he said that perhaps it just meant people thought i was huggable. somehow i think not.)


Zhoen said...

Anger is a demon that feeds on itself. Chill.

the polish chick said...

i know, zhoen. and really, the little pink pills seem to be taking care of most of it. the one case that they don't, i'm really working hard on.

and, for the record, i am not committing all the usual sins of grad school - i am sleeping lots, eating well, doing yoga, not drinking like a maniac, and overall i'm pretty chill...ish.

i'm just a vocal person, so it always seems like i'm more upset than i really am.