17 January, 2013

self-mutilation beats self-determination

after our friday night dinner and movie, my roommate and i sat around chatting. i told him about my propensity to cut myself while preparing food and mister monkey's propensity to yell at me when i do.

moi: so over christmas, i cut myself pretty badly while cutting an onion. crusty juggler had to come and mop up the blood and put a band-aid on my finger because mister monkey was raging on and yelling and telling me i had to see a psychiatrist, which i really don't get. i mean, why does he tell me i need to see a shrink?

roommate: because you are cutting yourself.

which, i suppose does clarify things a bit: self-cutting is most definitely grounds for psychiatric intervention.

06 January, 2013

pride goeth before a fall

you know just what kind of week it's been, gastrointestinal health-wise, when you fart and feel a deep sense of pride at not having soiled yourself.

going back south tomorrow, and on to new adventures in grad school on tuesday. wish me luck - 2 courses sound like fun, 1 sounds interesting, and 2 sound like i am likely to need to double my dose of the pink pills.

05 January, 2013

2013 - the year of the bodily fluids

christmas came and went in a flurry of massive overconsumption of food and wine. our poor houseguest crusty juggler was dragged from one family home to another where she sat and listened to us talk about people she'd never seen or heard of with a slightly glazed look upon her face. we dined out, we dined in, essentially: we dined. a lot. and lo, it was good.

the new years soiree we hosted came off without a hitch, though the cold i'd been fighting with regular applications of vitamin C and zinc lozenges finally hit me. after 4 hours of sleep, i woke up in the newly minted 2013, cleaned up the post-party detritus, and realised i was sick. i spent the next 2 days on the couch, nursing a nasty chest cold, hacking up my lungs and emptying the contents of my nose into an ever growing drift pile of scrunched up tissues.

crusty juggler was supposed to leave on the 3rd, but she came down with either a violent stomach bug or food poisoning and managed to postpone her flight to the following day while periodically emptying the contents of her stomach into a bucket. despite my weakened state, i was the stronger of us two (mr. monkey took off to the mountains for 2 days) and provided juice, water and emotional support.

the night before last, having gone to bed optimistically with my coughing almost completely gone, i woke up to waves of nausea so intense that i didn't know what hit me. as a result of which, all of yesterday i spent alternating my upper and my nether regions over the toilet. crusty juggler, now being in the position of the stronger one, brought mint tea to my couch while i arranged a ride for her to the airport since there was no way i'd be able to move beyond the condo. she left and i languished and napped.

this morning, i woke up stronger and most definitely nausea-free, however my cold took the opportunity to return and lodge itself in my sinuses.

so, to recap 2013 so far - chest cold -> stomach flu -> head cold. getting ready for school on tuesday? not so much. i'm awaiting my imminent conjunctivitis, ebola and pneumonia with great impatience.