20 July, 2012

darling, i haven't got a clue!

  • am i the only one who's sick and tired of summer homes in ibiza* being featured on nearly every design blog recently? i, for one, am ready to see some chic albanian villas.
  • so there's that. also, we were in portugal for 3 weeks, came back 3 weeks ago and i did not blog a single thing about the trip on account of my difficulty with blogging about actual things that are actually happening, as opposed to all the exciting things that take place only in my head. so, let's get this over with: portugal was gorgeous, its people lovely and warm, it was more picturesque than a basketful of kittens which can get annoying after a while, but not as picturesque as i imagine naples or paris might be (pure conjecture, yes) but make of that what you will, perhaps it's a good thing, perhaps i need to get out more, or, more likely, i need to lay off the booze, which (to make this sentence even longer and more convoluted because, hey, so far there are no laws against that, except of course the laws of grammar but seeing as the vast majority of the english speaking part of the world ignores most of them anyways as evidenced by the ubiquitous painfully thoughtless, poorly constructed and spectacularly misspelled status updates on facebook, i will just jump through that loophole and carry on as if nothing happened (why? what happened?)**) was ridiculously cheap, plentiful and bloody delicious in portugal. if you were asking me whether i'd recommend portugal as a holiday destination, i'd say, yea, verily, go, but stay the hell away from algarve which is very much like florida on spring break but with drunken british accents instead of american, and which is a poster child for rampant, uncontrolled and butt-ugly development that does not in any way take into consideration the historical charm or geographical attributes of the land. go to the west coast instead and you'll feel like you're in portugal instead of the redneck riviera florida panhandle.
  • to share our photos i just made y'all a link in the sidebar (kippered pics 2) where you can access the basketful-of-kittens level of portuguese picturesqueosity at your leisure***. can i stop talking about this now? there's some really weird dynamic here that makes me seriously uncomfortable blogging about reality. thank christ there's so much excitement happening in my brain. but i won't write about it because it's late and i'm tired and i'm cranky.
  • we just got back from seeing "to rome with love"and may i just say, woody, i'm on to you! you just keep making the same film over and over again and it's getting OLD, just like your neuroses and your khaki chinos.  we should've gone to see "take this waltz" instead. sarah polley is not yet a one trick pony.
  • chinese food is most emphatically not the same as korean food, which is very different from vietnamese food, which is not at all similar to thai food. if i hear one more person calling a vietnamese restaurant chinese and then saying that it doesn't matter, i'll have to resort to violence. i take my ethnic gastronomy very seriously, y'all, don't make me come down hard on yo ass.
  • hormonal fluctuations can go to hell. i'd refuse to participate but my body continues to betray me. 
  • and as far as corporeal betrayal goes, i have just gotten my very first pair of glasses. so far they are only necessary for reading the backs of wine bottles in the summer twilight, but soon i shall fall off the edge and careen wildly down the path towards blindness, decrepitude, incontinence and death. my eye doctor says i have 2-3 years left before we get into serious reading glasses (and the prerequisite grandma perm that seems to come with) so let's get that seeing-eye cabaña boy in training, shall we?
  • inexplicably, the air is starting to smell like tequila;**** i think it's time to go to bed.

*it doesn't help that i seem chronically unable to see the word "ibiza" without hearing it in my head with that annoying lisp.

**if you noticed internal inconsistencies in this sentence, you have my heartfelt congratulations for having the intellectual wherewithal to find your way through the maze of my thinking which is something i am increasingly unable to manage. (hello grad school, hope we have fun together.)

*** warning: shitload of pictures (edited down from the 4000 i took).

**** i 'm drinking a glass of red wine, just so you don't get any ideas.


Young at Heart said...

wow.....need a lay down after that....or a second home somewhere warm!!

Lucy said...

Personally I have an allergy to design blogs. I was going to say 'to design blogs involving Marrakech', but then I thought I might as well stop where I did. Someone I know recently met a British couple on the ferry who had a holiday home in Bulgaria, which seemed a bit more original.

You've sold me Portugal in one sentence, albeit a very long one.

I am guilty of calling Vietnamese restaurants Chinese, but then so are French Vietnamese restaurant owners. In the UK, Chinese restaurants were by and large Chinese, possibly Hongkong Chinese, but more or less Chinese. If they were Vietnamese or Thai or Korean they said so and garnered extra cachet thereby.

Here I gather they're mostly Vietnamese, but for some reason need to call themselves Chinese or Chinese/Vietnamese. Come to think, there is, or was, a Korean Chinese in the same parade of businesses as Molly's vet, but I've not been there for ages, and I think perhaps it's changed hands; it's called Thinn-Phatt, which doesn't leave it open to the kind of stupid jokes that it would in an anglophone country.

Anyway, I am actually very interested in ethnic gastronomy and generally knowing about food too, so I should tighten up and not say 'let's go for a Chinese' when we aren't really. I gather that the matter of Chinese regions, the Chinese diaspora, and the tendency of Asian cultures, particularly former colonies, to adapt their cooking to suit European palates and expectations does rather complicate things, but that's probably no excuse.

the polish chick said...

young, as long as it's not in morocco or santorini or, natch, ibiza.

lucy, here in canada, the ethnicity of a givenrestaurant is generally far clearer - restaurants advertise themselves as being either korean, vietnamese, thai or chinese with the notable exception of a couple "pan-asian" places. it's the annoying people who seem to think it doesn't matter, not the restauranteurs themselves.

canada is a country of immigrants, so it generally has enough of any given population to support restaurants that serve fairly traditional food, except for maybe chinese who have been here so long (what with the building of the railroads) that most chinese food is pretty westernised and we tend to stay away from it.

and do check out the pictures, they'll make you want to go to portugal even more than my run-on sentences.

Anonymous said...

Dear Grammar Queen,

Chill. Please remember not everyone has had the luxury of an English degree and that correct grammar may not be high on everyone's list of important shit. Please remember typos happen sometimes, especially on facebook. Case in point - what the fuck is a givenrestaurant?

Chill. Please remember that correct English also includes capital letters. Perhaps your omission of capitals is pissing off someone as much as your obsession with your and you're. You've got enough time in your life to hit the shift key. Try it. It's not that difficult.

Chill. Please don't go off on a rant with regards to this honesty. We all love you but you need to chill.


Grammer fools around the globe.

Lucy said...

Ooh-er missus, that'll teach you to get all hyperbollockal. Talk amongst yourselves and I'll just make meself scarce...

Anyway, I have been enjoying your Portugal pics which I was going to say have gone to sell it to me even more. The Port tasting ones made my mouth water but perhaps my favourite was the big knickers (panties to our transatlantic friends) on the line by the blue door. Trouble is it looks a bit hot for all the walking you have to do to see the best bits. I enjoyed seeing more of you and Mr Monkey's smiling faces too, especially the one where you're getting embraced by the long arm of the Portuguese law.

the polish chick said...

wow. sorry, man. no time to hit the shift key - busy, busy, busy.

and i really don't know if my english degree has anything to do with anything: i simply love the english language and feel it ought to be spoken properly. i'd blame my immigrant brain for that more than anything. communication used to be important but alas is no longer, and i still believe that anything worth saying is worth saying well. well, minus the very annoying lack of capital letters.

this is not a rant, but even if it were, why can YOU rant at me, anonymous, but deprive me of the same opportunity?

grammar nazi over and out.

the polish chick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the polish chick said...

lucy, we really lucked out with the weather - it was above 25C that first week in lisbon, but after that it never went up past 21-22C. it started getting a little warmer during our last two days in porto, but we hear that after we left temperatures shot up above 30 (as in 37C).

from what i read, june is still a reasonably temperate month, so if that's too hot for you, you could try may, or november.

the polish chick said...

also, anonymous, the facebook comment was hardly a comment on any of your facebook updates (not that i know who you are, anonymous, on account of your anonymity and all) because i am dead certain you do not post gems like "ANONYMOUS is getting so fuken westid 2nite LOLZ ha ha WTF R U wid me?"
however, if that was indeed your status update, then please accept my apologies.

(see? i can do capital letters if confronted with particularly pressing circumstances.)

Geneviève said...

What are you on? Whatever it is, can I have some? I read this out loud to my sister (who's visiting after my bday campout) and we had a good chuckle, mostly because I kept tripping over myself trying to get through your convoluted post. PS Nice pics!

Joan said...

Dang! I really want to see the 9:41 deleted post by anonymous! He/she/it was very entertaining!I couldn't imagine anyone defending the illiteracy rampant on Facebook !

the polish chick said...

no, joan. the post is the 8:36 one - the one signed :grammer fools." the one deleted might very well be something i wrote and then deleted since i was taken aback by the whole thing and couldn't think of what to say in a satisfactory manner.