tonight, on our fruitless* walk to the grocery store:
moi (a little frustrated): you know, there is no law requiring you to walk two paces behind me; you are allowed to walk by my side. why are you dawdling? are you in pain?
mr. monkey (outraged): you know i have arthritis of the knee!!!
moi (suitably chastised): oh. i'm sorry. does your knee hurt?
mr. monkey (grinning): no.
*you wouldn't think that miso paste would be the holy grail, but alas, two grocery stores later we are as bereft of miso as we were when first we set forth.