15 January, 2012

oh book club, book club, book club, what shall we do with you?

at book club this saturday:

moi: blah blah blah something totally irrelevant blah blah blah, blather blather blather so we're going to be spending almost 3 weeks in portugal this summer blah blah blah
book club hostess: where is portugal? is that in south america?
moi: ... um... no, it is in europe.
book club attendee: yeah, where is it? i totally missed social 20.
moi: ... it's next to spain. it's in the south. warmish bit of europe.

and then my head exploded, because, motherfucking fuckety fuck, we're not talking about social 20 here: we're talking about GODDAMN GEOGRAPHY!!! sweet jesus on a pogo stick, it took all of my self-control (the reserves that were not being used on not drinking, seeing as i was driving and we were in the midst of a 10 metre snow dump that night) not to look around and ask them if they were fucking retarded or what. i didn't. but only just.

honestly, i think i need another book club.


p.s. the rest of the night was spent talking about one attendee's brand new breast implants. like i said, i need another book club.

15 comments:

Zhoen said...

Definitely need another book club. Failing that, not this one. Gah. It's one thing not knowing, but one should be embarrassed, and then try to learn.

Geneviève said...

Zhoen, Albertans are proud of their backwater ignorance. I don't know why, but it's true.
A, you definitely need a new book club. I have no idea how you managed to keep your cool. Obviously, you weren't drinking.

puncturedbicycle said...

Fantastic! That sounds like a really enjoyable evening. But you definitely needed wine.

My first book club meeting _ Friday - was slow and a bit tedious until later in the evening (this would be after the drinking) when someone told someone else not to be defensive and they said they weren't being defensive but only pointing out a difference in opinion and the next day at a neighbourhood party I was cornered by another book clubber who complained that she should have been allowed to dominate the Friday meeting with all her many many self-centred observations which may or may not have been about the book. So I'm not thrilled with mine either.

Maybe we could do an online one. No worries about drinking and driving!

(What was the book?)

the polish chick said...

zhoen - that is *precisely* what i thought to myself.

g - wow, that's a little harsh. also as true for some as it is untrue for others. i know a lot of lovely albertans and enjoy living here very much so please don't paint us all with the same brush, dude!

also, yes i know i need a new book club. and i *was* drinking, but i was drinking responsibly (1.5 glasses only)

pb - it actually was enjoyable for the most part but that particular bit felt like a punch in the belly.
online book club sounds great, by the way!

the book was "unbroken" by laura hillenbrand and i could not finish it (or get past the first quarter) for the life of me. it is a non-fiction biography and a lot of it takes place in WW1, and although i'm sure it makes me an ignorant asshole, i cannot abide non-fiction about war. i do not like being reminded what hell we are capable of inflicting upon one another, and so i prefer to read about unicorns and rainbows. i'm sure it's a lovely book, very uplifting blah blah blah, but i will not read it.

Tony said...

You "think" you need another book club? Save your soul and move on.

the polish chick said...

you're absolutely right, all of you, but there's also the fun factor. we did guffaw about lactation for a bit and that's a special sort of bond, no?

ok, listen: i already had 1 very bad book club, this qualifies as the second. let's make a deal - third idiotic experience and i'm out of there. now who wants to start a book club with me?

Alison Cross said...

That's a night that needed some booze, for sure.

I abandoned our book club because there wasn't really much discussion about books. The lack of awareness - not just of world geography - is quite breathtaking. They don't even seem to be embarassed at not knowing where it is!

Find another book club. In fact, come along to my new Stitch and Bitch club. It'll be a bit of a hike, but I promise to ply you with Tunnocks caramel wafers and cups of tea.

Ali x

the polish chick said...

ali, you're right. the 2 small glasses of wine i consumed weren't nearly enough.

i have been known not to know the exact location of a place, but like you said, i tend to keep my mouth shut, then run to google and find out. plus thankfully my ignorance tends to be regional - as in "is it to the west or the south of albania?" and not global "switzerland, that's next to the andes, is it?"

stitch'n bitch sounds good, as long as you all speak with that adorable scottish accent. bitching with an accent is always pretty swell. and the caramel wafers tempt. can i bring a bottle of wine?

the polish chick said...

however, to be fair, we do tend to talk about the books quite a bit.

still, three strikes and i'm out. one to go...

Joan said...

Sorry but I still don't get the use for book clubs! I don't care what strangers think of a book. And most people I know read stuff on which I wouldn't waste my time.

the polish chick said...

i agree with the second part of your comment, joanie, but not the first - perhaps it's the english major in me, but i love discussing literature. it'd be nice to discuss it with people who have a better grasp of the philosophical/abstract and not just the concrete (and, as was seen recently, not that firm a grasp of the concrete either).

Lucy said...

Hey, so where is Alberta anyway, is it next to Victoria?

the polish chick said...

actually, lucy, from where you stand, it's pretty close. then again, which victoria are we walking about?

Geneviève said...

No, not all Edmontonians are proud to be ignoramuses. But a certainly a higher proportion than in the other three cities I've lived in: Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal.

Mother Theresa said...

Lol! I remember when I was just about to move to Spain, and one of the women my mother worked with at the time was shocked that she would allow me to "move to South America! Isn't it dangerous there?!" Those kind of people are everywhere...unfortunately.