22 July, 2011

tits in tulsa and tales of sexual lactation

we have just returned from a pot luck gathering at which we learned that, given enough time, patience, and correct pressure, any woman's breast can be persuaded to produce milk. the young man who shared this little scientific tidbit with us, was dead serious. apparently 15 minutes of vigorous breast palpitation can generate milk. the girl in question was moaning whilst being milked, and no, it was not moans of pain and discomfort from being thus manually stimulated for a full quarter of an hour.  and no, she was neither pregnant nor recently delivered of a child, just a random sexual encounter. apparently, said our talented guide to the world of sex and dairy products, he can make any woman bring forth milk.

how did we come to this rather unusual topic? our host had recently returned from a month-long company-sponsored trip to oklahoma where he visited a strip joint in which the lap dancer kindly allowed him to touch her c-section scar, and, like the rest of the girls, wore tasseled pasties to discourage public lactation. she had two children and a sad life. she was 19. kinda makes you want to go to tulsa, no?

a young couple in love leaving the party:

he: tonight, i'm gonna milk the shit out of you, baby!
she: let's go!


p.s. did you miss me? i'd say i was too busy doing fun summery stuff in the great outdoors, but that'd be a big fat lie, since it's been cold, raining and bloody miserable here more often than not. unusually hot and dry summer, my ass!

5 comments:

Lucy said...

How very unnerving. I am quite happy to remain a lactation virgin for the rest of my life.

the polish chick said...

moi aussi, lucy. still, the silly boy did make us all laugh - he was so very very serious about his preposterous claims.

Zhoen said...

Nothing miserable about cold and rainy. Sigh.

Geneviève said...

The scary thing is that I already knew this. But it was an entertaining re-telling of what appears to have been a rather unusual evening.

Geneviève said...

PS, yes we did miss you.