10 June, 2011

computer says no

so, as i was saying before i was rudely interrupted by moving out, moving in, getting a place ready for sale and all the myriad attendant details, adulthood sucks.

today we went, for what i really really hope is the very last time, to see our banker, max. max, if you feel inclined to visualise our little fiscal adventure, is like a small hairy italian ferret on some kind of twitch-inducing meds. the man is absolutely brilliant at making me feel placid, zen and radiating the kind of calm typically seen on stoned hippies and my cousin's wife. it's all relative, you say, and i say, put me next to a twitching ferret and i will be relaxed the rest of my days. of course the twitching ferret might get old rather quickly, but that's another tale for another day.

so, back to the bank - max always makes an appointment during the majority of which we end up sitting staring at him, while he shuffles vast piles of papers, filling in forms in triplicate and, alternately, banging on his keyboard. in the end, in what takes all of 5 minutes, he makes us put down several signatures on various pieces of paper. the whole thing usually lasts well over an hour. why he cannot have the mass of documents filled out prior to our actual arrival boggles my mind, but perhaps it is The Way Of The Ferret and one cannot question that.

today, while max was pounding away on the computer keyboard, a loud beep sounded. then another one, and some time later, another one still. it was obvious that the computer was not happy with whatever input it had just received. unfortunately i was instantly reminded of this, and so i turned to mr. monkey and said, computer says no. we then had to work really hard not to collapse in paroxysms of giggles. as it is, we find it endlessly amusing watching max do his paper-waving, keyboard-pounding magic while we sit and stare but adding little britain to the equation was just too much. thanks a lot, crusty juggler!

earlier in the appointment i had to soundlessly convince the man i love that the breath issuing forth from his mouth was particularly vile and that he should indeed take the gum i was offering him surreptitiously under the table. not an easy thing to do using only one's eyebrows. luckily for all, i succeeded.

2 comments:

crusty juggler said...

You're back! And you're welcome. But I'm sorry I also introduced you to the more disturbing aspects of Little Britain, thereby slightly damaging your delicate mind.

the polish chick said...

bitty!