i have been absent not merely because of sad adult drudgery. oh no! also, there was a lovely visit from crusty juggler, who left the stunning natural beauty of vancouver in order to come visit me, have the car window explode upon her head en route from the airport, help me iron things, hem things, teach me to make salad rolls and also vacuum my floor. for fun, we sat on the balcony and drank vast quantities of campari and tonic, because we're ladies and these are ladies' drinks. we walked and talked and had a fabulous time - an easy guest is a thing of beauty and take my word for it, you can invite crusty juggler to your house any time!
whilst relaxing on the chesterfield with our lap-sized computational machines one evening:
crusty juggler: it says here that these shelves are 16" long. do you have one of those measuring things about the house?
moi: yeah, i can never visualise measurements either. mr. monkey! can you please show crusty juggler what 16" looks like?
mr. monkey (blushing furiously): ...
crusty juggler: well, you are a lucky girl!
there followed a bawdy exchange the likes of which i would not put down upon these here pages, since, as previously mentioned, i'm a lady and shit.