moi (about something whose importance has been lost in the mists of time): i've loved you almost 13 years now!
mr. monkey: almost 13 years? almost? obviously i loved you longer!
moi: what? we met and you loved me immediately?
mr. monkey (defiantly): yes!
moi: you didn't even remember my name!!! "i don't know who that bitch is, but i love her!"
mr. monkey: yes! you'll have to make it up to me that i loved you longer. in fact, i might have to die sooner so you can make it up to me!