15 February, 2011

the true face of insanity

last night, mr. monkey found an online map of europe that was labelled with all the places from tolkien's lord of the rings. russia, of course, was mordor. i believe the scandinavian countries were rohan, spain/portugal made up lothlorien, middle-europe was gondor, and poland was ithilien.

mr. monkey: what's ithilien?

moi: it's the no man's land between gondor and mordor.

mr. m: gondor is which one?

moi: the one with minas tirith. where the big battle takes place.

mr. m: ok, and mordor is the bad guys, right?

moi: ... right.

mr. m: and ithilien is...

moi: where oh sam and oh mr. frodo see the oliphants.

mr. m: i don't remember that part.

moi: it's where faramir's rangers do their guerilla thing.

mr. m: i don't know who that is.

moi: it's where faramir captures oh sam and oh mr. frodo.

mr. m: i don't remember that part.

moi (increasingly frustrated): how many times have you seen this film?

mr. monkey (meekly): once.


you see, gentle reader, i have seen this film so many times that if i were to tell you, you would not only stop playing with me but you would back away slowly and likely call for a tranquiliser gun. let' just say: many, and be done with it. the fact that my beloved has only managed to see it once... well, it's incomprehensible to me.


Geneviève said...

Don't ask me anything about it because I remember even less than Mr. Monkey. Except the pretty boys. I remember them.

the polish chick said...

pretty boys? no, no, no, aside from the elf, there weren't pretty boys, g. there were Men In Tight Riding Pants And Boots, which is infinitely better than pretty boys. better still, they were rough and unwashed much of the time, and if there's anything better than Men In Tight Riding Pants And Boots, it's rough and unwashed Men In Tight Riding Pants And Boots. mmm!

that's fantasy, of course. in reality, i like my men clean and washed, but that's beside the point.

Anonymous said...

Yes. I also remember those men. Yum.
Ad for the story, I have no idea what all of these boys and men were up to.