15 January, 2011

a new year's resolution of sorts

i'm posting because i feel that i ought to say something, to fill this space, this void, both spatial and temporal. i still sometimes check my blog hoping against hope that someone has posted something. alas, it never happens, and so it is up to me to pick up my writing tools (fingers, that is. i pick them up with my toes. it is not easy, let me tell you), lube up the cortex and the cerebellum, gird my loins and face that void, while it crouches there grinning maniacally, as voids are wont to do.

i don't know when i became such a coward. i suppose i could say that time has whittled away whatever creative juicy bits that were once a part of moi, but i don't know if it's merely time, or a sustained diet of intellectual laziness. sigh...did you know that when i was younger (and not that much younger at that, this disease goes back no more than 15 years or thereabouts) i used to draw all the time? all the bloody time. if i didn't have a sketchbook around, i'd open up the paper envelope that tea bags come in and draw on that. really. i have material evidence.

as angry as this makes me, it is an anger steeped in lassitude and spiked regularly with cloves of regret, all pomander-like, and really, what else can i do? i've set up a table with paints and paper and canvases and still i'd rather while away the afternoon on this here contraption, to my everlasting shame, and gee, even so, you get an update only sporadically.

i'm not one for new year's resolutions, but i think it might be time to make some sort of proclamation in the town square, forcing my audience (hint: that's you) to become partner in the criminal negligence of any kind of talent that had once been granted to me by an alcoholic fairy godmother. (if the convolutions of the previous few sentences managed to leave you in the dark, worry not, i feel the same way, and am still feeling my way through a maze of ideas, verbs and, because i am who i am, far too many adjectives) i.e. you must hold me up to account. ok? so on occasion, ask me if i'm doing stuff, drawing things, if i've faced the fear and vanquished the blank page. please.

and thank you.

4 comments:

Zhoen said...

Give us a sample, would you please? There are drawing programs, so I hear.

Anonymous said...

I've had the same resolution. I recently looked back on some of my photography from a 2-3 years ago and realized with great sadness that my skill level and creativity has declined significantly. I have mourned this, but it's time to address this.

We can encourage each other.
I agree with Zhoen...why don't you scan something for us to look at?
Good luck!!
g

jools said...

i don`t want pictures, i want numbers. fill your daily quota of visual arts creation hours. take your daily dose of visual inspiration consumption. i think taking a class is the easiest way to start. i remember when you were drawing all the time. the stuff that came from your hand was amazing! it`s just your pump that needs priming.

the polish chick said...

zhoen, i'll try.

g, you've seen'em on my walls. remember all those naked butts? but perhaps i'll get kuba to scan some old drawings. and i do mean old.

jools, ok. will do. it's been a loooong time since anything came from my hand and amazed me.