14 January, 2011

hey hey! una cerveza por favor!

having just spent large swathes of time at the airport, i have become reacquainted with that most idiotic of airport denizens: the sun seeker. no, gentle reader, there is nothing idiotic about seeking the sun, especially when one normally resides in the northern reaches of alberta, where winter enters stage left sometime in early october, and exits stage right in mid may.* what is idiotic is the silent call emitted by some sun seekers that goes something like this: "HEY! I'M GOING TO MEXICO, Y'ALL!!!" and its alternate version: "HEY! I'VE JUST BEEN TO MEXICO, Y'ALL!!!!"

how does this silent call manifest itself, gentle reader? well, while the temperature hovers around the -20°C mark and windchill takes it down a couple notches just for the fun of it, while snowdrifts reach up to 2m and navigating even major thoroughfares is treacherous, while normal folk reach for their sorrel boots and down filled parkas, the sun seeker of whom i speak leaves all intelligent forms of clothing in the car, at the parking lot and then proceeds to walk to (or, alternately, from) the airport clad only in flip-flops, shorts and a t-shirt that proclaims its cheap sweat-shop produced sun destination origins.** to them i invariably say (in my head, i'm not mean!), "honey, nobody cares you're going (alternately: coming from) the bahamas. you look like a frozen moron and those purple legs are not particularly attractive."

i understand that bringing a parka on a tropical trip is not really an option either, but there are sweaters and long pants and even shoes that might prevent hypothermia and still look appropriate in both the edmonton international airport in december and the streets of havana.

*those of you from the ontario region who think you know what i'm talking about: no, you absolutely don't. march means spring to you; to albertans, march means 1.5 - 2 more months of snow...or more, so please just shut it.

**please, someone, please explain to me why people insist on buying t-shirts that say things like "seƱor frog's, puerto vallarta" or "planet hollywood: CANCUN" ? and then...then they actually wear them! out in public, no less! these items are tacky, ridiculous and proclaim a complete and total lack of imagination on the part of the buyer/wearer. really? you feel the need to proclaim that you went to another country and then utterly and completely failed to immerse yourself in any semblance of the local culture, eating exclusively at north american chains and shopping for t-shirts? waaa!


Country Gent said...

I'll hang my head in shame now because next month I'm being forced to head to Mexico for a week of cervezas and sun. I assure you I won't be wearing flip flops and short in the airport. And I won't be coming home with any souvenir t-shirts except the one for you that reads "I went to McDonald's, Puerto Vaillarta" (don't even know the spelling).
The whole t-shirt while traveling souvenir puzzles me too, as does the purchasing of a $40 t-shirt that says Abercrombie or Nike. I have bought souvenir t-shirts before, when I find them in a bargain bin for $3.

the polish chick said...

why would you hang your head in shame, unless you do indeed plan to wear flip-flops to the airport? and "forced"? really? did they twist your arm and call you nasty names? you poor, poor darling!

jools said...

it's just sheer determination to get the hell out of town! and a little bit of denial. today, i can really relate. it's cold and i have to shovel for the 100th time. o whither art thou, senor frog?