26 January, 2011

attack of the giant corporate lizards

i'm gonna go out on a limb here and tell you about something that i've been doing. anyone who's been reading this here thing for any length of time knows that my attitude towards the dental hygiene... ahem, profession* of which i am a part, is, shall we say a little negative? you might be moved to ask, hey, polish chick! what's not to like about your profession? and if that's the question you're formulating right now, let me just respond with the degree of professionalism that is expected from me: are you shitting me? really? sure, the money's not bad, but what i do, day in and day out (well, more day in once a month the way it's been going lately) is scrape. calcified. shit. off. people's. teeth. are you with me? there's blood. there are rogue tongues. there are infected suppurating tissues. sometimes there's expired broccoli. or chicken even. there's cigarette breath. there's coffee breath. there's i-brush-whenever-i-get-around-to-it breath. there's... wait, did i mention the blood? yeah. like i said.

so, i have spent the better part of the past five years wasting time and brain cells. this was called "soul-searching" and involved boring my friends to tears with "what should i do with my life" stuck on endless repeat (many thanks, g and t). i kept expecting a monty pythonesque hand to come from the heavens and tell me "THIS SHALT BE THY LOT IN LIFE HENCEFORTH" but no such luck. and so, feeling sick to death of myself and my constant whining and starting to pick up signs of frustration from the ever-patient mr. monkey, i decided to just eeny-miney-moe it, just like i did 17 years ago, minus the possibility of blood.

so, what i'm getting to, in an uncharacteristically typically long-winded way is that, darling poultries, i have decided to requalify and, to that end, have enrolled in an online course called... (wait, i have to look it up; it's that exciting)... Project Management Fundamentals. i know! i know! and believe me, the course is every bit as exciting as its name would suggest. maybe more! i force myself to stay awake through each and every class, quiz and assignment, and the only thing keeping me going is the knowledge that when i entered the dental hygiene... ahem... profession... i was just as bored. plus there was blood. so there. it's a win-win!

*am i the only one who throws up a little in her mouth when she has to utter that word and its revolting corollaries "professional" and "professionalism" and... "professionisticism"**

** i may or may not have made that last one up. i'm not telling. it wouldn't be professional.


Zhoen said...

I'm very glad I get to be "Registered." As opposed to Professional. (Not many amateur nurses.)

Lots of blood, though.

the polish chick said...

yeah, well, i'm not even sure if we are officially a profession. most likely not, but it's all the talk of it that sets my teeth on edge and sends my last meal hurtling up the esophagus.

i remember in university we were even lectured about the need to be "professional" in our off hours, because what we did (in bars? in corner booths? on stage?) reflected on our profession. bleh!

the polish chick said...

heh. i kind of like the idea of an amateur nurse.

Anonymous said...

I always happily listen to your musings on career. Lately, I aspire to work in a video store or a book store. I'm fed up with my career these days.
Your little poultry is very proud of you for registering in the course. Very transferable skill. Even if it is boring.
See you soon.

Alison Cross said...

Oooooh - your course sounds VERY high-brow but I have no clue as to what it actually is about. Spill and tell me ALL :-)

I have the dentist tomorrow and I promise that I shall floss and brush before visiting him.

Fingers crossed that he takes my PAIN away with his magic drill and little bits of amalgam

Lucy said...

It'll all be nice when it stops (both dental hygiene and a tedious course), and you might get a bit more money, and less blood.

the polish chick said...

g, thanks.
ali, good luck at the dentist. and the course is hardly high-brow. it's about planning and running all kinds of projects and the majority of other students seem to be from corporate backgrounds so they understand the techno-babble, unlike moi. still, i'll learn. i will, i will, i will.
lucy, i'm definitely hoping for less blood. more money would be a bonus.

jools said...

sounds like a smart, strategic move. good stuff!