06 December, 2010

à la lewinsky

saturday last was our christmas party night. a couple days before, i went through all of my sparkly party schmattes and came up with a rather fetching ensemble. its biggest appeal (aside from its sex appeal, obv) was its flowiness, able to accommodate the vast quantities of seafood i was planning to consume. i ironed the top, i ironed the bottom, i took out my jewellery from its box vault, made sure the silver hose were in top notch condition and that my shoes still fit.

on the day in question, i did my make-up, my hair, put on the outfit and liked what i saw. only one thing was missing: a little holiday glow. i waltzed into the bathroom where mr. monkey was showering, spun off a jaunty little pirouette for him, dug out the sparkly lotion, shook it up and went to apply. except that the bastard had a dried up plug in the cap and when the plug finally went, so did approximately half the bottle all over my top. and my bottom. and the floor. and my shoes. i swore loudly, plentifully and bilingually. then i ran back to the bedroom to rustle up another party frock.

the runner-up still looked good, but it lacked the requisite elastic waistband flowiness, and so i spent the evening wavering in and out of semi-consciousness from the pressure exerted on my innards by my industrial strength undergarments. the seafood was decent, the wine divine, overall, a nice night out for les monkeys.


Anonymous said...

God, I would be swearing in languages that don't even exist. Because there's no way I could "hustle up" another outfit at the last minute like that. As it is, I had to run over to the store an hour before I had to leave for Bill's work park because all I had were summer dresses. Good for you for pulling it off.

Country Gent said...

You must try the Rodney Strong Pinot Noir. Not long ago I had a 2005 and it was amazing. I believe the best wines coming out of California are the Sonoma Pinots.

the polish chick said...

i believe the best wines coming out of california are the ones my ex-boss buys for me. that's what i think. the cab sauv was special (AND free) enough for me. i think the pinot might put me over the edge!

the polish chick said...

g, you know i have drawers and hangers full of sparkly things. also - i keep things for years. the top i ended up wearing i bought in 2001.

Lucy said...

I'm impressed by your being able to rustle up another frock too, and by your fortitude in the matter of the industrial-strength underwear.

I am, however, a little puzzled about the blurb for the wine. How can it be a Cabernet Sauvignon and a Merlot?

the polish chick said...

hah, you got me, lucy! i didn't even read the damn blurb; i just saw that it was the wine we had (cab sauv, through and through) and went with it. perhaps someone should enlighten them, but i don't have the emotional wherewithal at the moment.