oh, how hard it is to strike a balance between embracing who i am and actively trying to become a better person. as always, i wonder whether it is even conceivable to become that mythical better person. sometimes, like when i'm in the throes of PMS, or going through a mother-in-law visit, i see nothing so much as a beast in vaguely human form peering back at me from the fruit-fly infested mirror (no, i do not know why they tend to congregate on my bathroom mirror, last i checked we weren't cleaning it with apricot jam).
i do not like who i am: i am petty, selfish, hard, prickly, inflexible and obnoxious, fighting to the death about the cultural background of particular kind of pierogi. no, dear poultries, i am NOT proud of myself right about now.
so how do you reconcile the you that you are, and the you that you want to be? i don't want to be a buddhist nun, but a reasonable human being would be nice. any hints? pointers? words of wisdom? and please don't tell me to have a drink; i've been doing enough of that and it doesn't seem to be working.