02 October, 2010

sometimes i like to laugh about butt jokes

today i spent the day at a course entitled "a journey through the GI tract for the dental professional." not only was it informative (oh, the many many ways i could die! and soon! it was, really and truly, a hypochondriac's heaven!) but boy was it funny. the speaker had us in stitches with the prerequisite "things people stick up their bums" gastrointestinal jokes, and much much more. i learned a lot about fibre, floaters and sinkers, supplements and, especially in light of my recent adventures in bumland, i was inspired to finally go and do something about my ongoing gastrointestinal issues.

also, we got fed a good breakfast, a lovely lunch and finished off with various baked bries and many glasses of red wine. i knew very few people and felt strangely shy and self-conscious whenever i cornered someone and talked to them for longer than a couple of minutes, so i largely stood in the corner, ate and drank and wondered if i was looking at all mysterious, or just plain old big and sad. i suspect it was perhaps a combination ("look at that large drunk girl! she sure likes cheese! how she has managed to not spill any red wine down her front is a complete mystery!")

the evening is now coming to a slow and leisurely end, the cicadas are boldly chirping, the cruise ships are behaving oddly, the stars are twinkling in their usual supercilious way, the cbc is entertaining us musically, and all is well with the world. and look, ma, no swearing!





(fuck)


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are in fine blogging form these days. Keep it coming.
G
PS I can't quite picture you being shy, but I guess it is conceivable.

the polish chick said...

hey, remember i am an introvert, so it does happen. not often, but it does. and i was entirely lacking the buffer of people i know well.

btw, thanks for the "fine blogging form" since i feel like i've been shoving shit down the collective throats of my eternally patient audience (of three).

Zhoen said...

We introverts love blogs...

the polish chick said...

zhoen, although i am technically an introvert, if you met me, you'd not be able to get a word in edgewise. you'd likely be standing backed into a corner and i'd be yelling at you with a half-empty bottle of red in one hand, waving the other to emphasize a particularly potent point. within five minutes of meeting me you'd know pretty much everything about me, up to and including my gastrointestinal issues and the year i lost my cherry, so you'd never believe that i am, in fact, an introvert. but i am. i'm just so scared of people i want to turn them into intimate friends as soon as possible.