24 October, 2010

just call me the black death

the enlarged lymph nodes i had noticed prior to our august kayaking trip refused to go away so, being a person of pronounced paranoid and hypochondriac tendencies*, i hightailed it to my lovely doctor. she ran a series of tests on me that required that i provide the lab with dozens of vials of my blood and get prodded with a variety of gauges of sharp poky things in an assortment of body parts.

the end result is this: i have been infected with toxoplasmosis. mr. monkey, never a cat lover, did not take the news well, and for a day or two eyed me with suspicion and slight disgust. he's over it now, but i do emit a small meow every once in a while to keep him in line.

several days later it was revealed that i have tested positive for a TB skin test. this, in case you're worried about spending face time with me, does not mean i have tuberculosis. it simply means i have been exposed to it at some point. i'd blame the walking oozing plague that is the population of fort mcmurray, if it weren't for the fact that i had already tested positive 15 years earlier, before fate's cruelty had landed me in that particular cesspool of human affliction and pestilence.** yes, you can still talk to me unmasked. yes, you can still bathe and eat at my house. hell, i can even donate blood, if you'd like some.

still, i think it's pretty funny that over the course of a week, i have gone from generally*** healthy woman of a certain age, to walking contagion (figuratively speaking, of course).

in marginally related news, i poked my finger with a prawn, and am wondering what trans-epidermal wonders of crustacean infestation are now lurking in my blood stream.

*just because you're a hypochondriac doesn't mean you can't die of cancer. just sayin'.

** if you think i exaggerate, i invite you to spend a few months up there. once you've recovered, we can talk.

***the bum thing has worked out ok, in case you've been staying up nights, worried sick about it.


Zhoen said...

Yeah, but cats get it from eating rodents. Top of the food chain, sort of thing. (toxoplasmosis)

Have you been eating mice?

puncturedbicycle said...

Oh no! Eek. Sounds like maybe one pink lamb chop too many. I hope you feel better soon. (And glad to hear about the bum situation.)

the polish chick said...

thanks, pb. the thing is, i feel absolutely fine. if it wasn't for my enlarged lymph node paranoia, i'd never know i had it. and i'm not a big lamb eater (more of a lamb skin sitter, if it comes to that).

zhoen, to the best of my knowledge, i have not been eating mice (or cheap sausages, which amounts to the same thing). but i might have been licked by a cat.

Anonymous said...

Ick. I should probably stock up on surgical masks before I see you on the weekend, just in case. See you Friday. Call me so we can decide what to do.

Lucy said...

So that's why you like wearing scarves, to cover the big lymph nodes.