16 August, 2010

driving tips for the challenged

ok, you'll have to bear with me. i really hate to do this to you. in fact, i really hate to do this to me, and i wish to fuck i could just get over it and not be angry all the goddamn time. but i can't. and now you're here, so you'll have to listen to my dysfunctional yattering. here goes:

signalling 101:

signalling, contrary to most people's way of thinking (and by thinking here, i mean the rudimentary reptilian brain stem activity that governs things other than farting and chewing for most folk), signalling is not designed to tell me what you're doing - i can see what you're doing. signalling is designed to tell me what you are about to do. so if you're in the turning lane, i can pretty much figure out you're gonna turn because that's the way that lane swings. what i would like is for you to signal PRIOR TO ENTERING THE TURNING LANE. i know, i know, revolutionary. but if you remember the primary purpose of signalling, it does begin to make sense.

i have a friend who once tried to sell me on his logic which was, if not impeccable, then certainly entertaining: apparently, according to my (really very intelligent) friend, you don't have to signal prior to changing lanes into a turning lane, because (i love this part) the lane was not there before! so, by his logic, you must only signal when changing into pre-existing lanes but not when entering the turning lane, because it is a new thing! this would be cool and all, but hey! that street! that wasn't there before either! i never got to ask him how his logic would apply to this situation, because i was too busy trying not to say rude things, because i (almost) never say rude things to friends. except when i do. and then i feel bad. but this time i didn't.

recap: signalling - the way to let others know what you are ABOUT TO DO, not what you are doing. that i can see for myself, i'm pretty smart that way.

also, signalling - not optional. no, really. it's not! yeah, even for you in the dodge ram.


Anonymous said...

I am SOOOOOOO with you on the signalling thing. People are too lazy even to move a couple of fingers to flick a little lever - I mean how lazy can you get????

puncturedbicycle said...

Don't even get me started. Seriously.

Alison Cross said...

Oh I HEAR you!!!

It's Mirror, Signal, Manouevre (look I can't spell it. I've tried about 6 times, ok?)....and no other permutation!!!

But sooooo many people do it minus the mirror and, sadly, on the island, without any of the other things either.

I suppose drivers behind are just supposed to be psychic.

Ali x