02 June, 2010

perpendicular is the new parallel

i just want you to know how dedicated i am to this here endeavour: i was half asleep in my warm comfy bed when i had an idea. the idea would not let me sleep and so i wrapped my shedding orange chenille robe around myself and came out to where the macbook lay languishing on my cheap IKEA coffee table (is that enough modifiers for ya? huh?).

the sad thing is (and i know you know where i'm going with this) is that i had such a brilliant title pop into my head that it immediately dislodged the whole post and now all i have is this brilliant title and nothing to put inside. it had something to do with poking fun at the whole caring universe drivel, on account of, you know, the universe not giving a shit at all, as evidenced by all the good people dying of horrible diseases and all the bad people running countries and oil companies...what in the HELL was i going on about?

oh, oh oh! i remember now: i took this wednesday and i throttled the motherfucker with my bare hands and the irresistible Power of Positive Thinking! that's it! i decided that i would not remain crushed by the wednesday place of employment with its weird psychic vibes and unpleasant people with truly horrible haircuts,* that i would unleash the Power of Positive Thinking, focus its laser-like beams on the situation at hand and DECIDE to feel good and have a good day. the truly fucked up thing is: it actually worked! i went to an unpleasant place and not only did i have a decent day, i actually had lovely patients and i even made the boss laugh with my silly little tale of cheap wine.**

shall we try this some more? it frightens me a wee bit on account of skirting the truly weird territory of "the secret" and other neo-new age bullshit which brings me right back around to the fact that, and i am sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, the universe DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT.***

*where does one go to get a lawnmower haircut? and why does one go there? it should be stopped. it really should. there is no reason why a grown working woman in this day and age should have a lawnmower haircut, especially if she doesn't seem to be either from texas or newfoundland!

**i can't tell you now. i probably already told you anyways, my repertoire being rather limited and all, but if mr./mrs. anonymous-poo keeps hounding me i need to have some other posts up my sleeve. tell you what, if you hound me (more than 2 comments, preferably 4 or 7 actually), i will tell you my wine tale (again). deal?

***it's psychology, people, it's not the universe showing its love to you, ok? ok.

now fuck off! i'm exhausted!


Geneviève said...

What more could I possibly add to that. But you asked for comments so here's my comment. Off to work for me now.

Anonymous said...

I'm the 'hey lady' lady. I'm glad to see that you are heeding my cries.
I intend to continue badgering you. I love your rudeness and your forthright approach. It's so refreshing after all the 'I'm-so-shit-but-isn't-that-highly-interesting' blogs out there...
(Lucy(fer) to you)

the polish chick said...

hm, lucy, are you the lucy that i know or are you an entirely brand new kind of lucy? just wondering. and welcome, either way.