03 June, 2010

cricket, anyone?

last month sometime* mr. monkey found a small insect climbing up my leg as i was getting ready for sleep. i used my mind-over-panic mode to calm the fuck down and thought this was but a harbinger of spring. in the last few weeks, i have found three (count'em: 3!) motherfucking beasties climbing over my face as i was falling asleep. not all at once, mind you, but over the course of several days (or weeks?*). then there was one in the bathroom. enough is enough, i said, it's time to inform the landlord and have the exterminators brought in.

mr. monkey found these bugs particularly creepy because although they were vaguely grasshopper-like, instead of healthy bouncing, they moved (to quote my husband) "like dracula in that film." you know that film, right? that horrible horrible, terribly miscast joke of a bram stoker film? oddly enough, the moment when dracula climbs a wall outside his castle moving like our bedroom invaders, was the moment i left the theatre because i was laughing so hard. i mean, come ON! where is the respect?

turns out the little buggers are escaped lizard food from next door, for which our landlord was heartily apologetic. i told him that i had absolutely no problem being walked on by a lizard. bugs? not so much.

the end. i am sorry this story isn't particularly funny or interesting, but both adjectives require greater mental leaps than that which i am capable of after scraping geriatric dentition all day long.

*this whole chronology shit is getting away from me; i no longer have any idea whether an event took place last month or last week or 2h ago. this whole aging thing seems to be like an extended THC episode.

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