i am so profoundly sick and tired of that stretchy bastard sitting in my lingerie drawer, judging me, making comments under its breath about that chocolate mousse tart i had on wednesday (it was delicious!) and about that glass of wine i had with dinner today, that i decided the time has come to embrace the moi of reality, and wave bye bye to the moi of fantasy.*
i think that since i last looked fantastic in a bikini around the time i was still jail-bait, the hope of looking great in one in my pre-40's is a little ludicrous. i will show off my killer legs, my toned arms, and my belly? well, i'll leave that to your imagination.
*the moi of fantasy has a washboard stomach and can keep her mouth shut. i know, i know, that's why it's a fantasy.