30 June, 2010

and speaking of courage...

yesterday was a good day, which is surprising because it included a stranger sticking her finger in my bum, and not in any sort of sexy way.* normally i would not be sharing this with y'all (aw, fuck, of course i would be - i am!) but i wanted to give you the heads up in case i die of some nasty cancer of the giblets. consider yourselves forewarned.

in fact i really wasn't going to write about this, but a) consider this a public service announcement: you shouldn't die because of embarrassment, and b) i had a dream last night in which mr. monkey had to be put down because he had an incurable wart on his big toe and it got me thinking about mortality and such. so, to sum up: bums are body parts too and shouldn't be taboo (oh, rectal poesie!), and i might be on my way out, but perhaps i'm not. we'll see. i'll keep you posted. who knows, i might turn out to be one of those people whom the looming prospect of death behooves to greater creative heights and hey, maybe i'll write a book and finally paint another picture and become famous on my death bed...which would really suck.

the end (nudge nudge, wink wink)



*which, by the way, i am so sorry, but i just don't get. it's an object. in the bum. it is NOT pleasant, and it most definitely is not sexy. just: no.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this just a slightly roundabout way of stating that anal sex is not your thing? Has Mr Monkey been getting adventurous??

the polish chick said...

mr. monkey has not been getting adventurous. my doctor, on the other hand, has. at least she used lube, thank the good lord baby jebus.

roundabout? was i roundabout? really?

that's all i'm going to say about that.

Anonymous said...

So like, is this something we should all be doing like the dreaded pap smear? Ugh... And then the mammograms are around the corner.
g

Anonymous said...

I don't want to get old.
g

the polish chick said...

g, only when odd bum-related things happen. you ought to be good for another few years, then, yes indeed-y-o, it'll become routine.

if you neglect the bum check, the pap smear and the mammogram, you will get your wish and NEVER get old. don't.