21 May, 2010

assorted body parts

look, i realise that i have it good. i am well aware of what a lucky lucky girl i am. it's beyond belief, really. but at no time does this seem more obvious than at my weekly nail filing. no, i don't go to a salon.* i do it at home. and as i sit on the toilet (shut) or the side of the tub, and file my nails, all i do is bitch inside my head (sometimes a little outside my head too) about HOW FUCKING FAST MY NAILS GROW and as i see my whole long life stretching before me all i can think of is that i will have to continue to file my fucking nails for as long as i live (but thankfully, judging from scientific reports written by eminent corpsologists, not after).

in fact, i am getting a little tired of all this corporeality and its ceaseless management. the flossing, the brushing, the filing, the cutting, the washing, the moisturizing, the conditioning, the shampooing, the powdering,** the trimming, the shaving, the exfoliating etc. etc. etc. and y'all know how low maintenance i am, so these are just the basics.

and when i get tired of all this stuff, i realise that to even have that pop up as an issue in my life, even a marginal, tiny little, whiny PMS-fueled issue, shows me to be a pampered first world fluff bunny with nary a problem in sight. after all, i could be an amputee, a rape victim, starving, paralysed, or, to simplify things a bit, DEAD.

so, to sum up: suck it up and cope, girlfriend!

*no comment on salon manicures. just: no comment.
**ok, not the powdering. i have never powdered anything except for my nose, and that i don't mind doing. even with the size of that sucker it takes merely seconds and i look like a girly girl while i do it.


Country Gent said...

Low maintenance? Oh, you meant with your body.
Alrighty then.

It's too bad I missed you this weekend. I would have rather been on the Island.

the polish chick said...

dude, if you really think i'm that high maintenance, you need to get out more. much more.