16 February, 2010

you don't know the half of it...no, wait, you probably know the whole of it and then some

one thing's for certain - i'll never be an international woman of mystery. The Mouth gets in the way. as i enter the last bit of my thirties, i am coming to terms with the fact that i am me, and being me means having The Mouth.

my first memory of The Mouth goes waaay back. we were in new york city, and my parents' taciturn friend had taken me to a baseball game. don't ask which of the two stadiums, i cannot remember. i don't know what lottery he won to be taking an eleven year old girl to a sporting event in which neither of us had any interest, but i clearly recall the fact that once i started to talk, i did not stop for the duration of the admittedly lengthy event. i talked to him. i talked to the people around us. i talked and talked and talked. years have come and gone, and The Mouth has not stopped.

you may meet me in the dental chair, you may meet me on the bus, you may meet me pretty much anywhere at all, and within minutes you will be privy to all kinds of information about me. you will know my political and religious beliefs in astounding detail; you will know who i am, where i come from, and how confused i am about where it is that i am going; you will likely get some pretty disturbing particulars about my most recent run-in with the medical profession; you will likely know more about me than you know about people you have known intimately for years. such is the nature of The Mouth.

and so, in the last few years, in the name of embracing the self, i am slowly making my peace with the fact that i will never have an alluring aura of mystery, that it will never be said of me "what is that woman thinking?", that i will never be referred to as an enigma. all this can be blamed on the force of nature that is The Mouth.

2 comments:

Anne said...

I find people like you so restful. I never have to guess.

the polish chick said...

restful, huh? don't know if i've ever heard that particular term used to describe The Mouth. but i guess i know what you mean.