s: you don't know what scalps are?
c: you've never had scalps? they're so good!
s: oh my god, they're delicious!
at first i thought they were playing along in good spontaneous fun. then i realised that what they meant (and what the menu probably meant) was scallops. and yes, i have had scallops. i've just never had scalps. at least not with bacon.
on a side note, as we entered the above mentioned establishment, our eyes were immediately drawn to a table near the bar, a table peopled with scraggly haired, raspy voiced, blearily drunk individuals of both genders, individuals of the type that make me want to give up drinking right then and there, if that's what the future holds. one unwashed middle-aged maiden in particular caught my attention as she hollered at the bartender to "give'er annoder beer." her hair was matted, her voice deep and as well worn as the restroom laminate, her face coincidentally resembling the very same flooring. this, i thought to myself, is me in my golden years. and then i had a beer.