07 December, 2009

just a flesh wound

for the last several weeks, i have been finding small insecty bite marks on my left forearm and nowhere else. mister monkey has not been affected and neither has my right forearm. i am twisting my brain inside and out trying to figure out what it is that i do with my left arm that i do not do with my right and nothing fits, because most of the special things that i do with only one hand, i do with my right. and i find it really really hard to believe that NOT wiping my ass is causing bite marks to appear on my left forearm (on account on me using my right hand, not on account of me not wiping, ok?)

they itch, they last several days and then they go away. i suspect the spider that has been lurking around the apartment acting all innocent, whistling and looking off into the middle distance whenever i glance in his direction, but even then - why just the left arm? is it more delicious? is it juicier? firmer? does it have a stronger, more full-bodied aroma?


i have no idea how to end this entry, seeing as it is all manner of dull and lacks a coherent dénouement.

ok, go make your own dénouement, people, i've got things to do.

9 comments:

Anne said...

Popped over from Belgian Waffle to try to fulfill part of your Christmas list. 'Tis the season, after all. Sadly (for YOU) I'm not one of the wittier commenters, just Random Internet Lurker du Jour.

However I get the spider bite thing too, except with me it's my left leg. Do you think it's some sort of mutated species of spider that favors the sinister side? Hm.

the polish chick said...

welcome, anne. sadly (for you) this is not one of my wittier posts. those usually come with increased alcohol consumption...well, thus is my perception anyhow.
thank you for granting one of my little wishes. will there be abs in the stocking for me as well?
i hopped over to your blog - you're a fellow foodie! how lovely. i shall peruse your writing at leisure. although i am madly in love with food, my blog tends to reflect more of my bitterly opinionated side.
welcome again, and thank you.

the polish chick said...

also, re: sinister spider - could it be giving us a nudge in the right brain direction? or the reverse? hm.

Anne said...

I think I have brain-side dyslexia. Is the spider trying to make me more creative or better-organized? Either way, good luck getting my sorry arse off the couch, spider. Better ones than you have tried and failed. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

I shall work on the abs thing tho. Gotta be a way.

WV: obsed. That must be the OCD spider.

the polish chick said...

i'd really appreciate abs. you have no idea.
and yes, i too am uncertain as to the spider's message. it could be taken so many ways. the last set of bites, for instance, was vaguely star shaped. perhaps he is biting into our flesh the map of the star system where intelligent life can be found? an intergalactic message of peace? who the hell knows. seriously, sinister spider, if you are trying to tell us something, BE CLEARER FOR GOD'S SAKE. we can't read your mind!

the polish chick said...

so is this blog of yours a communal thing? tell me more.

Anne said...

Yes, the spider is clearly not called Charlotte.

Yup, the blog was started by one of my college roommates. The kitchen always being the center of any gathering, it gives us a way to keep that warm fuzzy even when we all live apart just now.

Food and wine blogs are not good for abs though. Try some yogabeans: http://www.yogabeans.com/
Yoga is good for abs, but so is laughing. I recommend laughing. A lot.

the polish chick said...

yeah, the cake i just baked won't be getting me into a bikini any time soon. but i will be a happy happy chubster. just take all my mirrors away.

no spider bites this morning.

thanks for yogabeans. it is pretty funny. and waaay easier than crunches.

Anne said...

mmmmmm caaaaake