29 November, 2009

merry holidays

isn't it grand? it's that time of year wherein companies turn themselves inside out so as not to offend any religious minority when sending out invites to "nondenominational festive winter dinners." what's really cute is that these very companies are run, for the most part, by fundamentalist christian american warlords. merry december to y'all.

as we all know, this is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of rudolph who overcame years of teenage unpopularity and nasal acne to become enslaved by santa and his amazing technicolour dreamboat...or something. i think there was roast lamb, and camel-riding ninja kings who brought take-out, and perhaps there was some mention of mary, the donkey vaulter extraordinaire.


friday and saturday we had festive holiday dinners with mister monkey's company. free drinks were hoovered, free food eaten, people chatted with and dangly earrings worn. i even flatironed my hair.

i managed not to throw my wine in the face of redneck hummer-driving texans which, to me, is always an unmitigated social success. even more spectacularly, i managed not to get smashed and ruin mister monkey's future career prospects. i talked little beby jebus to the christians, hugged trees with the druids, and smoked up with the stoners - my chameleon-like superpower to be all things to all people came in handy yet again.

in other news, i secretly bought a sweater i don't need (on account of getting rid of heaps of clothing in the last year) plus a facial balm that smells like expensive old lady perfume, so if you see me, let's please not mention the fact that my face smells like an octogenarian dowager, ok? ok.

over and out.

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