26 October, 2009

the garden of earthly delights

after three hours of increasingly hostile internal negotiations, i finally went for a run. in order to break up the monotony of the word "fuck" on an endless rhythmic loop of misery, i thought about things. these are the things i thought up.

if i were to have a house with a garden on vancouver island or the southern bit of mainland, these are the plants i would plant and why:

  1. a palm tree - as a joyous and enthusiastic fuck-you to the rest of canada and its semi-permanent blanket of snow
  2. a banana plant - just because i can, also see 1.
  3. a holly tree - because who knew this shit was for real and not just a product from the same delirious marketing team that brought you rudolph the red nosed reindeer and santa in a coca-cola themed suit?
  4. arbutus trees - because they are the coolest trees on god's green earth except maybe for the baobab and i'm pretty sure those wouldn't grow here 
  5. garden gnomes - just because 
what would you plant and why? feel free to ignore me in the comments section.


Anonymous said...

How will I get anything done with your e-mails and blog entries keeping me entertained. And then there's Sacha who's listening the Jackson Five in the other room. How on earth did he stumble upon that?!

What would I plant? Well, I would first win the lottery, then I would get a gardener, then I get the gardener to make all the decisions (and do the work of course). Because I'll be too busy eating bonbons.

PS But I am fond of rhododendrons. Just the name is kind of cool.

Pitur said...

I think the arbutus trees grow around here, unless there is another tree that has that freakish red and what looks like burnt trunk.

I think I would grow ficus (a huge one) and fruit trees like oranges and grapefruit.