21 August, 2009

melons! melons, i say!

i went to see the new southgate mall expansion - yowza! it's like a real growed up mall in a real world class city, y'all! they don't even have a hitching post anymore and there is barely any straw on the brand new marblelicious floorage! no, really! (although there is a store that caters exclusively to that mouth-breathing segment of the population that considers pimped out baseball caps the height of self-expression to go along with their gangsta jeans)

so, what does the new southgate offer? zara, sephora, ecco, coach (a.k.a. highly overpriced not particularly attractive baggage) and other assorted consumerist wet dreams. 

and since we are on the topic of spectacular man-made edifices, i saw a woman there whose spray-on tan, perfect belly button and platinum hair had nothing, and i mean nothing, on her perkalicious, utterly globular, perfectly hemispherical silicone breasts. now i have met women with implants before, but typically they look like...well, breasts. this particular pair was straight from a low budget porn directed, no doubt, by her bronzed, gold-bedecked muscular boyfriend with the ├╝ber sexy highlights. 

to my everlasting chagrin, mister monkey and i will never be that hott or that sexxy.

1 comment:

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