mr. monkey: this plastic smells like smoked mackerel. what the hell do they make it out of, sea creatures?
moi: it's made of 100% endangered dolphins...and their stomach contents.
*when i went to pick up the poly at home depot, there were many rolls and on every roll (and on every shelf price tag) was written "ultra thin" or "medium" or "extra thick heavy duty" but nowhere did it specify what it actually was that i was buying. not one single place. when i asked a passing staff member if this was indeed poly and not some bizarre single serving pack of whale condoms, she looked at me in a panic and told me it was her first day and she didn't know. oh. ok, then. it'd be like going to the grocery store and picking up a can or two of "extra spicy" and a box of "light and crisp."