mr. monkey: you know, i came up with the perfect job for you! perfect!
moi (very excited*): what is it?!
mr. monkey: i forgot.
* because why make your own life decisions when you can have a perfectly useful boyfriend** or husband do it for you?
** the last 14 years of my life are brought to you courtesy of my crazy ex boyfriend terry who happened to have had lunch with a dental hygienist friend of his the day before we took a walk on the u of a campus, hence the brainwave, the application, the interview and the two years of hell followed by 14 years of some very lucrative bloodbaths.